XFactor
by ellennar
Summary: AU starting with Heart of Winter.  Jericho gets some help from a unique inividual.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's notes: **AU starting with Heart of Winter. Any character you recognize from Jericho does not belong to me. This is a cross over story but it the interest of preserving the mystery I will not be putting a disclaimer for that story until later. Since I am already juggling four other stories updates will probably be a bit infrequent.

**X Factor: Chapter One: Brothers**

**Eric**

I watched Mom and Dad's tail lights disappear into the distance past the checkpoint. Jake, again. Always bloody Jake. For as long as I could remember there had been the drama of Jake. When I was little I had thought the sun rose and set on him. All I wanted was to be as cool as Jake so that Dad would love me like he did him. Jake had been a star of his peewee football team so I had had to do better. And I had. I'd caught _**TWO **_touchdown passes. Except Dad hadn't been there to see. Not even a 'that's my boy'. But I was used to playing second fiddle. Jake though, Jake was used to being the apple of everyone's eye and the first time the town had come first….well, Jake's fragile little ego couldn't handle it. It never ceased to boggle my mind that no one could understand what had happened to the once loving, tight-knit Green clan. No one had ever bothered to ask me, nor would they have listen even they had. Dad hadn't done so well early on of balancing home and his new job and Jake had never forgiven him for it. The more Dad focused on the job the more Jake acted out, the more Jake acted out the harder Dad pushed him in a downward spiral that had cumulated in Chris' death and Jake's flight. Except it hadn't ended. It had never ended.

It hadn't surprised me that Jake had been willing to blow up the Tacoma Bridge because he'd annihilated every bridge Mom had tried to build. Eventually, he usually waited just long enough for us to get our hopes up that peace was going to finally return before sinking to new and exciting lows. But Jake led a charmed life. Mom and Dad worried but I didn't nothing bad ever happened to Jake himself just to everyone around him. As they rounded the bend I let my eyes narrow and resentment flare. My whole life I had done everything I could to be the perfect son, done everything asked of me, never stepped out of line. I'd married April not because I'd loved her, oh, I'd **liked** her, I still liked her and I felt like a grade A, 110 percent jerk every time I looked at her or Mom, but because **Mom** loved her like the daughter she didn't have. It had been 'about time' for me to get married six years ago and April had been a good match, pretty, successful, talented, well connected, logical. I'd even been content for a few years, until Mary, when I'd discovered what love was. I hadn't gone looking for it, had even done my best to ignore it but…..

My first big mistake (admittedly a doozie) and Mom who had forgive ALL of Jake's disasters looked at me like I was something that had crawled out from under a rock. I had always known they loved Jake more but God it hurt to see it proven. Second born, second class no matter how good and loyal I had been for my entire life. Hell Mom had chosen April over me. I wished I was home with Mary where I was number one. Where I didn't have to listen to how great Jake would be when he finally got his act together. Always how great Jake could be while I was just dependable old Eric. I'd wanted to hit Dad when he suggested I should run for mayor just so that he could still run things when he wasn't being drug around Europe by Mom. Then Jake had come back and gone from being an embarrassment to town hero. I huddled down in my coat almost hoping that Jake's famous luck had finally run out.

**Jake**

Cold, so cold, I had never been so cold in my life. I torn between being angry at Stanley for refusing to go and grateful that he had stayed. He should have gone. I wasn't worth it. Not after all that I'd done. I'd hurt everyone that I ever cared about. And then there was...the incident. What my father and the rest of Jericho was confusing with courage was really just a desperate attempt to wash away the blood. To feel worthy again. Dad was wrong. It wasn't a good man that had come home, just one desperate to be better. Desperate not to let anyone else end up hurt because of me. Damn you Stanley why had you stayed? Why hadn't you limped to that damn cabin and left me to the fate I deserved? I could feel my eyes sagging shut, the cold ground leeching everything away.

"Jake? Jake! Come on, man, you can't fall asleep " Stanley was yanking me up against him going on about having to talk. Apologize, I had to apologize before it was too late. I muttered something that I hoped made sense through lips that I had long since ceased to feel. Ceased to feel at all.

Stanley was trying to be cheerful as he rubbed my chest. I tried to stay limp hoping he would give up on me and go. He started rambling on about learning to surf and then swallowed freezing.

"Who's there?" he called into the dark.

I glanced into the gloom as the clouds racing through the sky cast us alternately in the glow of the full moon or deep shadow and swirling flurries. The clouds cleared finally leaving us looking into the face of a wolf. I had to smile as Stanley squeaked like a little girl. Little girl. God, God how could I have done that? And scrambled up yelling at the wolf to get out of here.

The wolf, looking completely unimpressed, sat down watching me. As he tilted his head the moonlight glinted off a collar. A wolf with a collar? He? Yeh he, had the nerve to pant.

"Stanley it's ok. Hey Pal," I'd always wanted a wolf. Mom had completely lost it when I suggested we get a wolf-dog. I tried to snap fingers I hadn't been able to feel in hours. I failed but the wolf apparently understood the attempt and trotted over. Clearly the cold wasn't bothering him, maybe he could keep Stanley alive. The blast of warm MINTY?! breath was heavenly. Minty breath? _**I**_ didn't have minty breath any more since we'd run out of toothpaste weeks ago who the hell in all this chaos brushed their wolf's teeth? He blew a couple of more breaths into my face, then hopped over my legs, sniffed my trapped ankle, and started digging.

Stanley scooted back "Why do you always get the best dogs?" He pouted at me then asked the wolf "why couldn't you have shown up a few hours ago?"

The wolf ignored him. I could hear it when he hit stone. He huffed a little and then switched to the other side but he hit stone even sooner. As the clouds covered the moon again he laid himself across our laps like a furry blanket. I burrowed my fingers into his coat. He flinched a little when I guess my fingers reached skin but he stayed curling around so that his warm breath was soaking into my chest. Mimi should have found someone hours ago, if she had lived, if she hadn't gotten caught, if she hadn't gotten lost. The little wolf, I wondered if he was a wolf- dog or a pup because he was way too tiny to be a full grown pure blood wolf, had to be with someone because there was no way he was brushing his own teeth.

"Hey Pal could you go get your friends? Maybe bring them here to help?"

I almost whimpered in protest when his warm breath pulled away a little so he could blink at me. He made a chuffing sound and I think he might have licked me at least I definitely got another face full of hot minty wolf breath.

"Why do you act like he can understand you?"

I was too cold and tired to argue.

"Hey maybe if I give him directions back to town."

"They would probably shoot him on sight."

The wolf whined at that. I was so tired. Too little, too late. Karma. Just getting what I deserved but Stanley didn't maybe the wolf would save him.

"I wonder if he's any good at deer hunting?"

"Probably just chase them off" I muttered.

"So what were you doing in San Diego?"

Huh, he gave me a little shake, this was Stanley, I had had friends die in my arms I couldn't do that to Stanley. But I wanted to just sleep so badly. Please, please stop, just let me rest.

"Flying, flying planes" Liar, San Diego wasn't where I'd been doing the flying.

"I bet you had a girl."

I could see them, I could see all of them but especially her. The girl. So tiny. Someone had been taking potshots at us all damn day and I'd finally given it right back. The only problem was they hadn't been alone she'd thrown herself on one of them and, and,

"She's dead."

There had been blood everywhere. I'd tried, I'd tried to stop the bleeding, but she'd choked on it. Bubbling. Wheezing. Gasping. And the guys that had been shooting at us hadn't even been old enough to shave. At least they had died quick and clean. She, I didn't mean to. And then the mother had come. At least I think she was the mother. Freddie had drug me off as the neighborhood exploded. I still didn't know how many had died. They should have left me, let them rip me apart right there, saved everyone else the trouble.

"She's dead. It was my fault."

Minty breath. Nobody in Iraq had minty breath. I blinked into a furry face then lolled my head back Stanley, accident, freezing to death. At least Iraq had been warm. Too warm I had been wishing for a nice cold Kansas winter. Silly me. If God existed he had a twisted sense of ironic justice.

"Let me lay down. Let me lay down" my fault. Hadn't been aiming at her, the bullets had left the gun before I ever saw her but it was my finger on the trigger.

"Stay with me" begging. Stanley was begging. I would try for Stanley. My fingers and my legs where the wolf was laying started to burn even as I drifted back to Iraq and Stanley begged me to stay with him. I tried, I tried but all I could see was the girl.

Growling? The warm weight left my lap as the wolf scuttled up over the same little rill that Mimi had hidden behind taking what was left of my hope for Stanley with him. 'Thanks for nothing, Pal' I thought.

"Wake up, wake up, Jake." Mom? I had never had to fight so hard to open my eyes. I heard Stanley's voice and Mimi's and that flicker that kept me going even though I didn't deserve it flared. Mom, I could see her lips moving as she leaned over me (why did her breath smell like a distillery?) but I couldn't seem to understand half the words.

"Honey, we're not gonna to be able to get this off him." Dad? "I need you to take these guys back to town and get me some help out here. Signal when you're coming back so I know it's you."

"I'll flash the lights."

"All right, go, go, go!"

Dad, no please no. It would prove everything he'd ever said or thought about me, I was a hot headed screw up, a dishonor to the family, and a waste of space.

"Jake. Jake, look at me, son."

I couldn't I couldn't he would know just looking at me what I had done. I would lose every scrap of ground I'd gotten back since 'The Day'.

"Look here, you're gonna make it, son. I know you."

No, no you don't Dad.

"I know what you're made of" You wouldn't have screwed up the way I did, neither would Grandpa. God he would be so ashamed of me.

"You're gonna be alright."

Too cold to scoff or laugh at that. I hadn't been 'alright' in a very long time. Probably not in twenty years maybe not ever. Except we'd been close once, Dad and I, so close and then it had all fallen apart. I couldn't even remember how it started, just how hurt and angry I'd been. So, so angry, wanting to hurt him back, and I had and I'd hurt so many others along the way.

"You're gonna make it. Stay with me now." Just like Stanley I was so very glad he was here even as I wanted him to go. Don't get my hopes back up because it was inevitable that I would just be disappoint again and so would he.

He clutched me tight, laying across me while the other hand brought up a gun.

"Probably just Pal."

"Pal?"

"Wolf-dog. Showed up a little after dark. Helping us warm. Ran off when you and Mom came."

A wash of minty breath (Dad smelled like a brewery too) and a second warm weight.

"If he follows us home, can I keep him?"

"We'll see."

Typical.

He started rambling on, ordering me to look at him every so often. Orders, orders, orders. I wasn't in the damn military. No, no I had just been a contractor. Eric had it right, mercenary. I'd shot her. I shot her. I could see her little eyes hating me and begging me to save her. Huge brown eyes. So scared. Dad was ordering me around again.

I never would have even BEEN there if I hadn't had something to prove.

"Dad leave me alone." You stopped caring if I lived or died years ago why pretend now?

"I'm not going anywhere."

No you'll just drive me away with expectations I'll never measure up to.

"But you gotta hang on." Orders again. Always hated being bossed around.

"Now, they'll be here soon, son." Orders. Ordered to return fire if fired upon. Damn it why had I chosen to obey that time? I dreamed of her every night but now I saw her even with my eyes open. Haunted. I'm sorry. Sorry about everything. I was going to die in my father's arms. That was probably as cruel as dying in Stanley's maybe more but I was so tired that I knew I didn't have long.

"Dad, I'm sorry." I'd missed my Dad for so long. Long before I ever left town.

"Son, you got nothing to be sorry about." If her dead eyes with mute accusation hadn't been fixed on me I could have thought of so many stupid things across the years.

I closed my eyes trying to block it all out but neither Dad nor the wolf would have it.

"Open your eyes, Jake. Come on now."

No, I don't want to. But I did it anyway.

"Look at me. Look at me, Jake."

No, Dad, no you can't hold out the possibility and then take it away again. I was tired, I wanted to just let it all go and sleep but he wouldn't let me. Fine. Tell him the truth. Tell him the truth and prove once and for all that you aren't worthy of the name Green. Then we'll both know and he can abandon you with a clear conscience. Watching him withdraw again would hurt but I was too numb to care and it would be over soon anyway.

"I can see her."

"See who?"

"The girl."

"What girl? Jake I think you're hallucinating son."

Don't I wish. "No, listen to me." Please, please "When I was in Iraq" God but I wish I'd never heard of the place "there was a girl" pause for breath, so hard to keep breathing even with the little wolf making the air just a little warmer and minty. "She couldn't have been more than 10 or 12" I tore my eyes away and looked at my father. He knew. I didn't need to say another word. He'd been in war zones and he knew. Confession made.

"Sh" he shushed me "don't talk now, son. Save your energy. We can talk when we get" his voice cracked "home."

But I couldn't stop. I just couldn't "I killed her, Dad." I couldn't look at him, couldn't bear to see anymore disappointment "I killed a little girl."

I expected him to pull back but he wrapped a hand around my head and pulled me in closer. His breath and the wolf's making me think of pepper mint schnapps. He hadn't left. I had thought I'd lost my father's love and respect long ago and ever since I saw concern and grudging respect in his eyes on 'The Day' I knew it wouldn't, couldn't last. Duty and honor would always come first.

"Jake, Jake look at me. Stay. With. Me. Please, look at me. That's my boy, you stay with me Jake. Don't you DARE close your eyes." More orders except I could hear the plea. She had died in my arms before the guys pulled me away. I didn't want to do that to my Dad, not on top everything else. Didn't think I was going to have a choice soon but for the first time I threw everything into holding my father's gaze. He kept talking but the words kept fading out and I had to stain in the darkness as I fought to stay awake.

**Eric**

The truck came flying back with the driver laying on the horn. I had the men scramble to get the barricade out of the way assuming that they were headed straight for the medical center but they slammed on the brakes hard enough that I was surprised no one was flung through the wind shield.

"Eric" Mom was as close to panic as I'd ever seen her. A quick check of the truck showed Stanley and Mimi but no Dad and no Jake. I swallowed. Please no, I hadn't really meant all those times I'd wished that Fate would teach Jake a real lesson. "Get someone to take Stanley and Mimi to the medical center and then round up the rest of the guys. We have to get the truck off Jake."

OK who was the puniest? "Jeff, take Stanley and Mimi back to town." How many guys would it take to get a trunk off of Jake? All of us, at least, but we couldn't leave the town unguarded. "Stop at the Hawkins and Jimmy's get them to gather up some guys to man the patrol."

A trembling, frostbitten, coatless Stanley grabbed my arm and stuttered out "He doesn't have that kind of time. He was already drifting away when your parents got there."

**Coatless** Stanley.

I had thought I was already the lowest of the low in Mom's eyes but this time I was the one sinking to whole new depths.

"Your brother has been lying trapped and exposed to this cold for **hours**" Mom spat "And you are not going to **leave **him there another instant."

Jericho had always come first with Dad and last with Mom. If it had been Dad we would have waited for reinforcements but more to appease Mom than because I thought Jake was in any real danger I ordered us out.

Mom flew up the roads at a pace even Jake would have found scary. This was probably going to turn out just like every other Jake scrap with a lot of wreckage, serious property damage, and Jake cracking jokes as he was loaded into an ambulance to be checked out. Like the night of the bombs when he'd made such a point of being the hero of the hour as he gallantly limped to glory. Granted he'd taken more of a beating than usual but in a wreck that killed two of the three people involved Jack was the one that walked away.

Dad's "Hurry" held none of Mom's near panic but then he'd made it his mission in life to be a stalwart bastion of calm (Jake had made it **his** mission in life to make Dad completely blow his cool. Success had been highly variable for both). No smart ass comment from Jake. That was odd.

"Alright everyone on three. One, two, three."

"He's free."

Still no 'witty' commentary. Becoming uneasy I stepped around the overturned truck as they loaded him onto a backboard. Eyes mostly closed, lips blue, his right hand slipped free to hang limp. Jake was never limp. Jake was a human volcano, all anger and fire. I pulled off my glove and grasped the icy fingers before grabbing the board and helping load him into the back of the van and watching them drive off. As usual left with the mess, though in this case it was as simple as getting their truck back and returning to my post.

I paused staring at the cold ground. It was a silly thing but somehow in my mind my annoying, prank playing, teasing, irritating, brat of an elder brother had always been immortal. You would think that I would have outgrown such a childish notion along with Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny but it hit me right here right now that he wasn't. As a volunteer fireman and paramedic I'd seen enough people die in accidents and of exposure even back before 'The Day' when we'd had power and heat to know that my brother, my brother, wasn't nearly out of the woods. It had been easy to remember the hell he'd made of all our lives, easy to forget that there had been a reason why I idolized him and it was that Jake who had come home. That Jake who I'd thought long dead and buried who had become the town hero. That Jake had stood on the Tacoma Bridge and made a target of himself, had stood his ground with no idea that I'd gone to get Johan, no idea that help was coming, just determined to keep the way home clear for me. Oh, how I'd played up that I'd been right when he'd nearly died. Basking in Dad's approval like we were back in grade school.

Jake's luck. I sent a prayer up to a God I'd barely believed in before 'the Day' and in whom I'd lost all faith since that this would not be the day that it finally ran out. As I turned to get into the truck I could have sworn I spotted a wolf in the glare of the headlights but when I blinked it was gone

7


	2. Sons

**X-Factor: Chapter 2: Sons**

**Johnston**

I stared into my coffee less mug as if it held the all the answers and God I wished it did. I'd failed my sons, both of them. I had thought I'd done well by Eric but my gut told me I may have made even more mistakes with him than I had Jake. For a long time I thought it was Jake who had failed me even when Johan Prowse tried to rub my nose in it. I'd denied it. Continued to blame all of it on my son's shortcomings. I wasn't proud of the fact that I'd railed at Prowse practically over the corpse of his own son but Jake was just gone and for while we weren't sure if he was alive or dead. I'd accused Johan of leading my boy astray; he'd looked me right in the eye and called me a fool. Asked me what kind of man I was to drive a boy like Jake right into his arms. Had the nerve to tell me he'd taken the boy under his wing to keep him from getting to even worse trouble. Worse trouble?! Except Jake had ended up in worse trouble. That 'leave me alone' was going to tear my heart for a long time. Part of Jake had wanted to die out there and had expected me to walk away. Challenged me to. What he had told me was equal parts deathbed confession and test. Well, this was a test I had no intention of failing. I took a sip of lukewarm water while watching his chest rise and fall.

I had sworn two oaths when I became mayor and I had failed to fulfill the one to my wife. The town had come first and looking back what had taken me away from my family had been such petty little things. And now, now the crisis was real, the town **did** need to come first. Except that I wasn't mayor anymore. The town had spoken and both my boys desperately needed me. But would they let me? It was easy when they were young but I had squandered those years on budget debates and zoning arguments. The task would be so much harder now and the stakes terrifyingly higher. This new world we lived in wasn't half as forgiving as the old one.

I remembered demanding why he hadn't stopped at Black Jack, ever after realizing we couldn't fit through that barricade, now I knew, my eldest was just shy of suicidal and willing to take others with him. I was no shrink but then I didn't put much stock in them anyway but I'd seen what claming up and holding it in had done to too many of my buddies. I'd been lucky. I'd come home to a father who knew how to prize out all the horrors, to lay them bare so healing could start. I had told Jake as he wept that I was here when he was ready but this wasn't a world you say that in with any real assurance any more. This would take delicate handling to push just enough without going too far so that we could lance this wound before its poison killed him, or anyone else. I decided that I better consider what words each of my sons needed to hear most from me, just in case I only had a few to give. Hope for the best, plan for the worst. I glanced up at the draft not expecting Gail back for several more hours.

**Eric**

Mary snuggled against me seeking warmth in her sleep as I lay awake. I'd snuck briefly in to check on Jake trying to see if he was ok without encountering April or Mom. He'd been crying. Jake was always the tough guy. He fell off a roof (never mind what he was doing up there to begin with) he cracked 'jokes' (most of which weren't half as funny as he thought) but he didn't cry as he was driven to the hospital to have pins put in his arm. He didn't beg Dad to forget either. No, not Jake, once busted (and he was way too slick to have been busted as often as he was. More often than not Jake had wanted to get caught) he had proudly boasted of his exploits. Then there was Dad's response, about war.

Personally I had figured Jake had ended up in jail. I'd been stunned when he'd rattled off about Iraq and Afghanistan to that Ravenwood guy in Rouge River. But every time I tried to bring it up I'd been side tracked onto some other admittedly important topic. Jake had always been a master of deflection and I had certainly never been able to get him to talk about anything he chose not to. Guess I'd been wrong, about a lot. Not wanting to intrude or even let Jake know that I'd seen I had slipped away to drown my fears in Mary's arms. Odd how Jake's collapse frightened me more than the end of the world. That had been hours ago, hopefully he'd talked to Dad by now… and I just needed to see him. I needed another image to replace that limp hand and the crying, shivering, broken man. And if he was still that weeping wreck then I wanted to do…something.

I kissed the top of Mary's head "I have to go check on Jake" I whispered before slipping out of bed and tucking the covers around her. I had just picked up the chalk to leave a note when she stirred. God, when she looked at me all I wanted to do was to crawl back in bed with her. I had never wanted April the way I wanted Mary. She was the one I wished was carrying my child.

"What's happened now?"

"I just need to check on Jake."

She frowned "Last time I looked your brother was a big boy."

I hadn't bothered to tell her earlier "He, Stanley, and Mimi were run off the road and robbed while they were out hunting. He spent the afternoon and most of the night pinned under the truck."

"Then what are you doing here?"

"Don't worry. Jake's luck strikes again, not broken bones just a nasty case of hypothermia and whole lot of cuts and bruises."

"Then why are you?"

I shrugged having some difficult zipping my pants "It was close" I whispered then in a steadier voice "really close. A little longer and" I pulled on my coat "I just need to see him. I figured there was no sense in me hovering earlier but…"

"Go. For as long as you need to."

I kissed her hard and deep. "I love you."

Even bundled up the walk to Dad's was brutal and Jake had been trapped by that blasted truck for hours waiting for help that had very nearly come to late.

Dad glanced up as I walked in, laid a finger to his lips, and then rose to meet me with a sigh "What now?"

I shook my head stepping past him to look down at Jake. So still. Jake was the world's most restless sleeper. I'd begged Dad for separate tents when we went camping because sharing one with him was like getting trampled by a horse. He looked like hell but his breathing was slow and steady. I couldn't resist bushing my fingers across his hand. Still too cool but no longer icy. He didn't stir. Jake had always been the lightest sleeper in the house. I met Dad's eyes and he nodded to the other side of the room.

"Your Mother hath decreed that there shalt be constant vigilance and faithful hovering until she gets back from the medical center or she will have my hide pinned to the wall" but he grinned as he whispered it and you could see so much in his eyes when he looked at Jake. Why had he never looked at me like that?

"I stopped by to check on him earlier but he was talking to you" I whispered back "I didn't think it was a good time and it looked like he was going to live."

Dad glanced at me, "I take it you will be discrete?"

I nodded "Is he going to be ok?"

"I don't know" then he looked at me "Are you?"

Funny I knew he was still keeping an eye and ear on Jake but for the first time in years maybe the first time ever Dad was really looking at me.

"I hate what this is doing to all of us. I swore when I was, like, ten, that I wasn't going to be another Jake. That I was always going to do the right thing but, Dad, I don't love April and I just can't live a lie any more. I just can't. I'm sorry I disappointed you and Mom. I'm sorry I hurt April but I love Mary."

Dad sighed heavily "Your mother will forgive you, eventually."

I swallowed "What about you?"

"I won't deny that I'm disappointed. I won't deny that I expected better of you" I started to hang my head "But that's only because you were so damn perfectly obedient for so damn long. The last time you stepped out of line was when you helped Jake set the carpet in my office on fire. Your mother and I have come to take it for granted that we wouldn't ever have to worry about you. We're still busy being stunned. Besides I can sympathize. Your Grandmother had a lovely girl all picked out for me and it wasn't your mother." He winked "I guess the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree after all." Then more seriously "Eric you have been the best right hand any man could ask for." It wasn't the first time he'd said it but it was the first time it hadn't sounded like lip service.

Dad glanced over. Mom was back and was struggling with the door. "You stay here. She'll have both our heads if he's left for a minute."

This time Jake stirred, eyes sliding wearily half open "Eric?"

"Hey, don't you know this is no time to be laying around on the job?"

"I'm sorry" he lisped back through raw lips.

Jake Green didn't apologize. Not really. Oh, he'd mumble the words and go through the motions but he never really seemed to mean it and his idea of 'making amends' was a joke. Suddenly I was furious, not at Jake, but at whatever it was that had taken the wind out of my overly cocky brother's sails.

"That bad huh?"

"I'm not mad at you" and I wasn't, not anymore, I gathered him up in a real hug this time and gave him a "welcome home" that wasn't just going through the motions because it was what a 'good boy' should do but finally willing to let all the baggage go.

**Gail**

I had consented to going to the medical center for my shift because Johnston had told me that he and Jake needed to talk. I had tried, really tried to stay there, I'd even managed to concentrate on my work for a few hours. But Stanley had wanted to stop by and check on Jake before going back to the farm anyway so it wasn't as if Johnston was going to be alone with him for much longer anyway. I had thought I couldn't get any more furious with Eric but he hadn't even come by to check on Jake. I handed off our weekly rations to Johnston and started around the corner but he caught my arm.

"Give'em a second."

I peeked in. About time Eric showed his face. I followed Johnston into the kitchen to help stow the meager bits that had to tide us over until next week. Of course I'd been such a pack rat through the years that we still had canned goods, rice, and pasta for a little longer to augment what the boys could hunt and the food from China. I had to force myself not slam things down.

"He was by earlier but didn't want to intrude."

"Good" I snipped. Once Jake was warmed up and out cold I'd joined April at the clinic. How could Eric have down this to us? Even Jake would have known better than to pull this. I loved Jake but I knew the wildness that burned in his blood the 'legacy' of Johnston's father but Eric was different. Eric was **my **son calmer, more focused, far less prone to go off half-cocked. I depended on Eric and he KNEW better. How could he favor that Mary Bailey over April was beyond me. They had been so perfect together. I wanted to box his ears, to shake better sense into him. I had never been so hurt, so angry, and so terribly disappointed in my life.

Johnston sighed, started to say something but Stanley's distinctive rap on the door interrupted him. Stanley always reminded me of a golden retriever and there were days when I'd thought he wasn't quite that bright. Jake had gotten him into so much trouble that I was always amazed that the Richmonds even spoke to us. But those boys had loved each other from kindergarten with a fierce loyalty not to be denied. Who would have ever put him together with Mimi?

I chuckled as I did a mental inventory of the cupboards then rolled my eyes at the draft. Thirty-two years old and he STILL didn't know how to shut a door. I turned intending to close it and found myself staring into a pair of bright piercing blue eyes set into a wolf's face.

I licked my lips. According to Stanley and Johnston he had done his best to help the boys keep warm but had been terribly skittish so what was he doing here and how had he followed us in the truck?

He turned and wrapped his jaws around the throat of the bar none biggest buck I had ever seen in my life. I stood there gaping in shock as he hauled the thing into my kitchen, kicked the door closed with a hind leg and started heading for the living room with it.

Finally finding my voice I tremulously called "Johnston" in warning tone.

"Pal!" Stanley exclaimed with all the cheerful enthusiasm I had long since come to expect from him "See I TOLD you he'd be a good hunter."

Jake didn't even try to sit up. My poor baby. "Hey there" he rasped trying to snap his fingers and failing. The little pale yellow wolf dropped the deer beside the couch and the same teeth that had savaged its throat engulfed Jake's hand. Johnston wrapped his own around on my arm. After a small eternity he laid Jake's hand on his chest. He flexed it, easily snapping his fingers.

"Wolf spit has healing properties?" Mimi sounded both grossed and doubtful.

"It's all tingly" Jake commented while offering him the other hand. "So, Dad?"

Johnston threw up his hands "You KNOW I don't make those decisions."

"Mom?" Oh, God I KNEW that LOOK. That, it followed me home (usually with a lot of help) can I keep it pretty please I'll take care of it you'll never know it's here look. To be fair the one thing I had never had to worry about **ever** was Jake taking care of his pets. It had been the one comfort when everything was going to hell that animals had never ceased to love Jake and that he had never been cruel to them even when he was bristling at anything human. Seeing Jake without a dog at his heels had been odd these last few months but Rex had dashed in front of a car the day of the bombs and hadn't been as lucky as Jake. Five years I'd taken care of that dog for him only to have him die the day he came home.

"He has a collar, Jake he probably belongs to someone."

"There were a lot of dogs with tags roaming loose."

I shot Mimi a warning glare. Jake needed no help.

"We're barely keeping ourselves fed."

Jake's eyes flickered to the floor and he sighed. He wanted to argue with me I could see it, but he just didn't have the energy.

"Up to you, Pal" he rasped.

The little wolf (little is relative he was nearly as big as Rex but not nearly as big as a pure wolf. Looking at those paws I suspected he was just a pup but one thing I had learned (and the reason I'd put my foot down when Jake had been begging for a wolf mix pup in his early teens) was that once you got a few generations of mixing in there you never precisely knew what kind of traits you were going to get and a wolf's jaws were more lethal than any dog's) delicately picked his way through the tangle of legs and deer carcass to sit daintily at my feet. He lifted a paw and looked at me expectantly.

I took it and he made eye contact, gave my hand a quick lick, and winked at me. He cocked his head to the side and gave me the best puppy dog eye's I had ever seen.

I felt ridiculous but there was something in those huge blue eyes that had me wanting to explain "I'm very pleased to meet you Pal. And thank you for helping my son. I'm certain that you are a very nice wolf-dog but"

At the but he dropped to the floor and put his big paws over his eyes whimpering like a lost soul. I glanced up at Jake who was smirking, weary eyes dancing with mirth. I sighed, a blue eye peaked up around the edge of one paw.

"Generally I prefer that all animals bagged on hunting trips remain outside until they've been butchered" Pal bounced up, carefully closed his jaws neatly in the existing rents, and started dragging the big buck back out.

"Oh, wow, he really can understand English" Stanley hopped a little and then barked "why do you always get the really, really cool dogs?"

"Don't know" Jake muttered eyelids sagging.

"And that is the biggest buck I have ever seen."

"That's because it's a mule deer" Johnston said dryly.

"Where did he find a mule deer?"

"Good question"

Jake started to struggle up. Pal dropped the buck and bounded easily over the back of the couch landing around Jake but carefully not on him. He put his right paw on Jake's chest and glared.

"I surrender" he said laying back.

Pal nodded and jumped back to the buck.

"Where were you ten years ago when I needed you?" I asked the wolf-dog half expecting an answer but he merely pulled the deer to just shy of the door. We watched as he opened the door with paws and teeth and then shut it once he had the deer back outside.

"You know, Stanley, it's really bad when the dog can close a door but you can't."

Dang, that was my line. Stanley grunted and followed the wolf out the door. The rest of us looked at each other. Wolves were supposed to be smarter than dogs but there was something…uncanny about Pal.

Stanley shot her a dirty look and then whistled as he looked out the window. "We are eating **good** tonight."

We all tumbled out. There where four more deer in the back yard, none even half the size of the trophy buck but still good eating, along with a couple of turkeys and a little pile of rabbits. Pal lay down in the middle of it all and neatly crossed his paws brows arched. Eric blinked and then started measuring each of the deer's single wound to the throat and foreleg.

"Same size mouth on all of them."

Pal glared at him and then head high stalked back into the house.

Johnston flipped one of the deer over, then another, "The wolf might have killed them all but these deer weren't drug very far. So how did they get here?"

I turned and forced myself not to run back into the house. The wolf-dog had curled up next to Jake on the couch and they were both asleep. His pale blond coat made a pretty counter point to Jake's dark hair but I had to wonder just what it was that had invited itself into our lives. And I shivered at the thought of those powerful jaws lying across my baby's throat. I reminded myself that if he could kill five full grown bucks then he could have easily ripped Stanley and Jake apart last night but he hadn't.

Johnston pulled me in close and whispered "Friends close, enemies closer. I'll be keeping an eye on him until we know which."

6


	3. Games

**Author's notes:** Thank you to all who reviewed the first chapter. I hope everyone liked the second. Something I meant to note in the first chapter. I have changed Jake's birth year for this story since according to Jake's passport and Eric's driver's license they were born the same year. While I went to school with a pair of brothers born the same year, one was the 3rd of January and younger the 28th of December, I find it unlikely that the same mother can give birth Jan and Sept 21st of the same year to surviving children. If the producers didn't make a mistake with those birth dates (or Jake didn't lie about his DoB) then either Eric was dangerously premature (in 1977 neonatal care has improved enough that it would be a different story today) (and the elder Greens decidedly too frisky) or Jake and Eric are really half-brothers. While the idea would be a lot of fun to play with (and Gail's 'I've been where you are' might imply it) I've gone with the idea that Jake's passport year of birth is incorrect and he's a couple of years instead of nine months older than Eric.

The Lincoln quote is from _The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln_ edited by Roy P. Basler, Volume I, "Address Before the Young Men's Lyceum,of Springfield, Illinois (January 27, 1838),

**X-Factor: Chapter 3: Games**

**April**

I had been shocked to see Eric and Jake playing checkers when I arrived home. In the end losing Eric hadn't hurt nearly as much as I thought it would. I think my pride was more wounded than my heart. I felt betrayed, not that he wanted to leave me, but that he had been lying and cheating for so long. He scrambled to his feet as soon as he saw me clearly wanting to flee but he just sighed.

"How are you?"

It would be so easy to say something cruel and biting but no matter how angry I was he was the father of my unborn child. I would never be free of Eric so I might as well be civil.

"The morning sickness isn't as bad as it was."

"Good, I'm glad. Have you…felt the baby yet?"

I shook my head "It's too soon." Turning away from Eric I focused on Jake "How are you feeling?"

"Tired, achy, alive"

"How are your hands?"

"Much better" he spread them and I frowned.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, you had a touch of frostbite but the look perfect now" I touched his face gently "and your head wounds look better than I would have expected."

"Who would have imagined wolf spit is a heal all" Eric said dryly before frowning as Jake jumped one of his men.

"What?"

"Hey Pal" A pale golden head popped up from behind Jake on the couch, ears pricked forward. "I'd like you to meet April."

I licked my lips, my Mother had never allowed us to keep pets so I wasn't really comfortable with them and I had had to try to keep little Andy Smith alive after his father's wolf-dog had attacked him. Gray had tried to insist that all 'dangerous' breeds be registered which had led to a war of words about it being a matter of individuals not breeds but looking at the wolf peeking at me over Jake's shoulder all could think of was the little boy I'd failed to save and I wrapped my fingers protectively around my baby.

"He may be one heck of a hunter" Eric said as he made his next move "but he's no guard dog."

"He let me know someone was coming, and that he didn't consider them a threat" Jake retorted "And most wolf-dogs aren't good guard dogs. It's not in their nature."

"Hunter?" I asked with more of a quiver than I intended.

The look Jake shot me was half concern half absolute confusion. Eric sighed.

"I'm sorry, I forgot, or I would have said something sooner."

"Something about what?" Jake demanded sounding pretty good for a guy that had been half dead this morning.

"Remember how you and Tom Smith were always talking about getting wolf-dogs but neither of your moms would allow it?"

"Yes."

"Tom got his wolf-dog right after you left. A little less than two years ago it mauled his son."

Jake looked at me and knew.

"Oh, honey" Gail breathed from the doorway "I completely forgot."

The yellow ears vanished behind Jake and a moment later the wolf-dog slipped gracefully and silently to the floor. Eric wasn't much of an animal lover either but the town had no shortage of dogs. Pal didn't move like a dog, more like a cat. Nimble despite paws that could nearly cover a dinner plate. He gave Jake a single lick. Jake dropped his head and the wolf bowed his to me before turning to go.

"What's he doing?"

"Leaving" Eric said "he's smart enough to hear that you don't want him here in the tone of your voice."

Gail leaned against the wall. Eyes first on the downcast Jake and then on me. She'd told me so many stories about Jake's knack with animals and how she'd always hoped he'd become a veterinarian but Jake loved the thrill of flying too much. I remember the resentment in Eric's voice. Everything had come easy to Jake, he aced tests that he never studied for while Eric spent hours earning his straight A's. I had heard it from every member of the Green family more than once. Jake could have been anything he wanted with just a little discipline but instead he had chosen to throw it all away. I felt like such a baby but I didn't want that thing anywhere near me. He loped to the door gliding like ghost only to freeze in front of taking a hesitant step back, glancing at Eric, and returning to take a defensive stance in front of Jake, Gail, and I just before someone pounded on the door.

Bruce Blevins, the new high school biology teacher and tree hugger extraordinaire who had just started this fall practically bounded in when Eric opened the door. The wolf's posture relaxed just a little but he remained alert.

"Bruce?"

"Can I see him?" His eyes lit up when he spotted Pal who looked at Jake and whined.

"I spent all four summers in college on a team that was working on wolf reintroduction out in Montana. I really don't advocate wolf-dog mixes. I think it's just asking for trouble since people have a bad habit of expecting them to look like wolves and act like dogs." The words were for us but he had eyes only for Pal who looked like he was ready to go back to hiding behind Jake. "Hey there little fellow. While Mr. Green was getting the deer weighed and hung he was spreading the word to make certain he isn't shot on sight. That big mule buck is close to double the state record. John's estimating that once all of it is butchered that he'll be able to get almost 430 lbs of meat to add to the pot."

At a quarter pound per person that would give almost half of Jericho's remaining population a serving of high quality protein and if that was just the meat then that didn't include cooking down the bones for soup stock.

I glanced at Eric "Pal did the hunting?"

He shrugged "He drug a buck bigger than I knew a deer could be in here this morning to give to Jake. There were four more smaller bucks out back, along with a couple turkeys and seven rabbits. Teeth seem to match."

Bruce pulled a mold out of his pocket "I can confirm that one wolf did all the killing. I brought his puppy shots with me."

"Puppy shoots?" He looked awfully big for puppy anything.

"He might have been old enough for his first shots a week or two before the bombs and he's still a just a touch young for a rabies shot but with things the way they are I figured better safe than sorry."

"Rabies shots are what six months?" I asked, the entire room answered four.

"You are a gorgeous baby" Bruce all but cooed to Pal who as huddled up against the couch so hard it started to slide a little. "If it wasn't for the blue eyes I'd say he was pure wolf. I would love to see him in action. Would you mind if came with you when you take him out? In four summers of watching wolves I have never seen that kind of precision killing. It's almost surgical the way he took down those deer." Zeus had been anything but surgical.

"I'm probably not going to be keeping him."

Bruce's mouth just hung open.

"Since the town desperately needs meat and he clearly knows something the rest of us don't about how to find game maybe you"

"You know, I heard you had a real gift with animals" Bruce interrupted "I must have heard wrong."

Jake sighed.

"He's pretty clearly picked you."

Eric cleared his throat "Mary loves dogs. I was thinking he could stay with us" the LOOK the wolf gave him at that had me wanting to laugh before my anger flared. Damned if Mary Bailey was taking anything else away and I snapped my fingers "Hey Pal."

The wolf pup glanced at me in clear surprise and then came slowly. He sat at my feet raising his eyes to meet mine. After Andy's death I had needed to see the monster before they shot it. I'm not sure what I expected but Zeus hadn't been some frothing at the mouth Cujoe. Andy had snuck into the enclosure unseen and no one had ever or would ever know for certain why Zeus had turned on him. Those golden eyes hadn't been like a dog's and neither were Pal's but Pal's were nothing like Zeus' either. As blue as the vault of the sky on a sunny day and just as deep. Infinite. They say the eyes are the windows of the soul and those strange blue eyes held limitless sorrow and bottomless joy. I had to blink several times to free myself of them. My roommate as an undergrad had been Hindu. She had sworn that she could always spot the old souls even if they dwelt in an animal or a tree. I wondered what Ragi would have made of Pal. I wondered if Ragi was even alive.

"Welcome home, Pal."

"April" Eric began but fell silent at my glare.

"Honey, are you certain?" Gail asked, Jake, despite his reputation as a hothead remained silent.

I nodded.

"Thank you" from Jake. I tried to smile I wasn't certain how well in turned out.

"Alright Pal. Time for your shots." Pal sighed, went to Bruce, and stoically took his medicine. He pricked his ears forward looking at the door. Eric rose, tense, before glancing out and relaxing then opening the door for his father. Pal slipped out as he came in. I glanced at Jake.

"He probably just needs to use the facilities."

"He's housebroken?" Bruce sounded surprised.

"He hasn't gone in the house" Gail said "Is that a problem with wolf mixes?"

Bruce frowned "He would have barely had his eyes open when the bombs went off, that isn't much time for him to learn if he's been on the road."

Johnston frowned as he handed Gail a heavy wrapped parcel "I kept a third of the big buck's tenderloin as our cut. Jake I need to talk to you about Pal." He grimaced "Do you remember when you and Stanley went off hunting on your own when you were twelve and drug that deer all the way back here?"

"Oh, yeh" he tried to smile and winced "We took all the hide and half of the meat off of one side."

"Those deer Pal killed, they didn't even have grit in their coats."

Jake half sat up before his body sagged "So how did they get here?"

"That would be the question."

"Is the meat safe?"

"Mrs. Novak had just brought those yappy little ankle biters of hers down to John hoping he'd process them for her. We gave them a taste of all of it and because of that thing with poisoned deer a few years back there are some basic tests. Tests were negative and one of the little brats bit me right before I came home. All indications are that it's fine. We'll keep the meat over night, have venison for breakfast when John gives the all clear."

The door opened and Pal slipped in kicking it shut with a hind leg. I glanced at Jake.

"Apparently he's figured out how to open them." He glided in and neatly jumping over the arm of the couch disappeared behind Jake. To my surprise Pal stayed hidden behind Jake all through dinner. Not only did he not beg, he didn't even look up.

I started to rise to help Gail but she waved me back and my feet were killing me "Why don't you play checkers with Jake?" She started to smile at him fondly and then noticed at the same moment she did that he had kicked off most of his covers.

"Johnston Jacob Green" she started hands on hips.

"I'm toasty Mom. Pal is like having my own personal space heater." She huffed and wrapped the blankets back around him. "Why don't you and April play some checkers?"

Jake nodded setting up the board.

"I was never very good at checkers."

Pal emerged from the couch panting and looked at me tentatively. "I think he wants to help."

"Are you any good?" I asked jokingly, he winked at me then sat beside me focusing on the board.

I started to move a piece but he whined "Not that one?" I asked "how about this one?" another whine I touched a third piece and he made a chuffing sound. I made the moves he chuffed for. It was a slaughter.

"Maybe we should start over" Jake offered.

I glanced over at my partner those blue eyes seemed to shout 'trust me'.

"We'll play it out. King me."

"Sure" he dropped one of my many lost pieces on top of one of my three remaining checkers and froze. Johnston looked up taking in Jake's disbelief he rose to stand behind him and then turned hard eyes on Pal.

"What is it?"

"You just won" Jake breathed.

"How?"

He took my kinged piece and in a sweep of jumps cleared every one of his pieces from the board. Pal cocked his head, wagged his tail, yawned, curled up beside Jake, and went to sleep.

"All those stories about radiation and super powers, those are purely bunk, right?"

I rolled my eyes at Jake who was only half joking "Personally I was thinking of reincarnation."

"Just a fluke" Johnston grumbled.

"Must be" Jake muttered as he settled down and dozed off himself.

**Johnston**

I forced myself not to rush down the down the stairs at first light. Jake had taken to sleeping with a gun and he could probably handle himself better than I could. As spooked as I was about the mystery surrounding 'Pal' and what it might mean to the town and my family but I had to stop on the stairs and smile at the two of them. I could almost pretend Jake was still a little boy and the world was right again watching him sleeping innocent as an angel with the yellow wolf pup. It stirred as I approached and slipped off the couch agilely enough to leave Jake undisturbed. He shot a glance at the door and I was able to open it before John's knock could wake Jake.

I laid a finger to my lips and he whispered "The dogs are fine so I'm thinking the meat is too" he paused looking at Pal "Damn he's going to be a horse if he ever grows into those feet. You going to go out with him today?"

"That's the plan."

"Good hunting."

I turned to Gail as she came down "We got any eggs left?"

"Venison and eggs it is."

Seeing no need to hover in the kitchen I started cleaning my gun, making utterly certain I was ready to go after breakfast. Of course who knew what the wolf pup would and would not do. Jake woke up just long enough to eat and as soon as he had finished dozed back off. Good, the boy needed his rest and we had fought enough for several lifetimes. Just as well I didn't have to make it an order that might end up as a war of wills. I was a little surprised that Pal not only never seemed inclined to beg he didn't even acknowledge that we were eating. I got the door for him and received a nod in response. I felt slightly ridiculous trailing behind the wolf. He walked slowly enough that I didn't have any trouble keeping up at least for the first quarter mile or so and then he sprinted like a quarter horse out of the gate. I grinned as he turned up a blind alley.

I stopped stunned. The alley was empty. There was no way for him to gotten back out without me seeing him. I spun and checked the street, no wolf, no wolf in the alley either. As I turned again I caught a flicker of movement on the roof. No way in hell.

"Young lady" I barked to the girl on the roof "what do you think you're doing up there?" I had an ugly flashback to one of Jake's more spectacular screw-ups that had ended with him having enough metal in his arm to set off a detector at ten paces. I didn't want to think about what might happen if this tyke took a similar spill.

"Multi-tasking."

"Multi-task your" I paused significantly "rear down here."

She held a hand up for a second. Not since Jake had anyone this young brushed me off so easily.

"Do your parents know where you are?"

"Highly unlikely" she, no he, (what the hell kind of father lets his son run around with shoulder length golden curls?) retorted before clambering off the roof.

"Well, I think I'd like to let them know."

"If you happen to find them, tell them that I'd like to meet them." I could NOT place the kid's accent.

"Orphan?"

"Foundling."

"So what were you doing up there and where is your coat?"

"Playing games and ruminating."

"What games?"

"Hide and seek which is the story of my life and let's pretend."

"What about your foster parents?"

"My guardian is dead."

"So you're on your own?"

"Not precisely."

"Do you know how to give straight answer?"

"Possibly."

"Did you happen to see a yellow wolf when you were up there?"

"No, I did not."

"There was that so difficult? Now are you here with an adult?"

A flicker of a grin "Yes."

I suspected that I was the adult in question.

"So what were you ruminating on?" what kind of eight year old knew the word ruminate?

"Adrianople, Abraham Lincoln, and the factory in New Bern."

I had to stop in the street and blink at the kid "What?"

"Historians go round and round on it but Rome fell at Adrianople everything else was just death throes. I wonder a few centuries from now what they will say about your United States." So not an American "Was this like your first Civil War merely a great test or will this be your end? I find it intriguing that he made so accurate a prediction."

"How old are you?"

A shrug "My guardian insisted on a full Classical education from an extremely young age with an emphasis on history and language. My Latin is superb and my ancient Greek flawless."

"Well, that should come in handy" I couldn't resist commenting.

The boy laughed not even shivering in the cold in nothing but jeans and a sweater.

"So what prediction?"

"At what point shall we expect the approach of danger? By what means shall we fortify against it? Shall we expect some transatlantic military giant, to step the Ocean, and crush us at a blow? Never! All the armies of Europe, Asia and Africa combined, with all the treasure of the earth (our own excepted) in their military chest; with a Buonaparte for a commander, could not by force, take a drink from the Ohio, or make a track on the Blue Ridge, in a trial of a thousand years. At what point, then, is the approach of danger to be expected? I answer, if it ever reach us it must spring up amongst us. It cannot come from abroad. If destruction be our lot, we must ourselves be its author and finisher. As a nation of freemen, we must live through all time, or die by suicide' he quoted "Spoken January 27, 1838."

"How is that accurate? A bunch of terrorists did this to us."

Eyes the same exact shade as Pal's met mine "Make no mistake, this was an inside job by someone eager to forge a new world to their own liking. Rome killed herself too you know. The barbarians would never have had a chance if she hadn't gutted herself from within."

The kid was nuts but what the hell it was the most interesting conversation I'd had all week "And how does any of this relate to the factory in New Bern?"

"I'm afraid I just arrived in town and am not nearly as familiar with local events as I am ancient history but New Bern has a factory and it is operational. This is not an area one thinks of as industrial ergo there must be a reason why New Bern is not a farming town like most of the others in this region." He arched a brow at me.

"Soil's got too much clay in it."

A thoughtful nod "From that fact that the factory is still operational I would assume that its machines are old. What did it produce during World War II?"

I froze "Mortar rounds."

"Fluency in Latin might not be a marketable skill in this brave new world but an intimate knowledge of history is more useful than one might think. When society shatters and food becomes scarce" the boy shrugged "but then you know the men of New Bern better than I. And you are right it is a bit nippy out here I think I should get my coat. I didn't see the wolf from the roof today but he was working a small herd of white tails in the thicket down off of Washington Street. He didn't get them all."

"That's practically in town."

The boy shrugged and turned to go "Wait, what's your name?"

"Paullus."

Gray Anderson the eternal thorn in my side and pain in my ass chose that moment to distract me and Paullus was gone. As annoying as he was even Gray Anderson (probably) wouldn't approve of a child wandering around in this cold alone. He would, of course demand that someone be found to take him in. I sighed I had been really hoping that the next kid I would have to deal with would be a girl. And it was awfully coincidental that the boy and the wolf-pup had made a nearly symultanious appearance. Damn it all to hell and gone what had the kid really been doing on that roof? Had he been hiding or seeking and for or from whom? I had the distinct impression as I shouldered my gun that I had been played almost as neatly as Pal had played Jake last night.

9


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's notes: **Thank you to everyone that read and reviewed. Hopefully the characters are still in character in this chapter. Spuffyshipper we have some angsty Jake in this chapter but I plan on giving him a bit of a reprieve after this for a little while but never fear more angst will be coming eventually. I'm not much of an Emily fan either. On the legal side of things Grayson is not mine but has been shamelessly borrowed from Davis/Panzer and will be returned in much better condition than they left him

**X-Factor: Chapter 4: Confessions**

**Jake**

The cold woke me. It was like it was radiating from my bones, like my marrow had been turned to ice. I shivered watching the flames flicker and dance. It seemed like the only time I was warm enough was when Pal was curled up with me. April said my temperature was back to normal so it was probably all just in my head. And if it was all in my head then my ass should be up helping because God knew every day brought a new disaster. Except that generally speaking the disasters were outside, in the cold. I sank down deeper in my blankets. I could almost hear Grandpa telling me that the most important thing after a fall is getting back into the saddle. But I'm tired Grandpa and it hurts. I didn't know if I believed in God, Heaven (and I was less than positive Grandpa would have made it there anyway), or the dead watching over us but I did know I'd been taught better and he would have expected better. So ass off the couch.

See that wasn't so bad. I was halfway to the door when I realized I'd snagged my favorite blanket out of the pile. What the hell was I thinking? God if Stanley was here I would NEVER live it down. Granted showing up to my first day of kindergarten with my blanket had been a mistake that had required a couple of fist fights and several 'reckless stunts' to shake the nickname 'Linus'. At five it was understandable, at nearly thirty-three….at least no one had seen… sometimes you can just FEEL it when some one is looking at you. Favoring my screaming ankle I carefully turned, head high, blanket wrapped defiantly around my shoulders, praying that it wasn't Dad or Eric, or any guy for that matter. I could feel myself slump a little in relief when I spotted Mom on the stairs looking torn between wanting to smile and scream. It took her a minute to get her lips to stop trying to rebel on her. Mom hadn't smiled nearly enough lately and if my little lapse back into childhood had brightened her day, well, then I didn't mind half so much.

"**Young** man, where do you think you're going?"

"Down to town hall to see what needs to be done."

Her eyes shone and I felt myself standing straighter as she came down the stairs.

"Jake, I can not even begin to tell you how proud of you I am. You have been NOTHING but helpful since you came home" I swallowed as a blaze lit in her eyes "but if you even THINK of going out that door today or tomorrow I will sit on you until your father gets back and then I will have him hogtie you. Are we clear?"

"Yes, Mom."

She started just a little and a flicker of smile ghosted across her face to be replaced by worry. Once upon a time I would have been all bluster and defiance. I would have been out the door the instant her back was turned. Now, I was grateful for the reprieve and you could hear it in my voice. I tried Grandpa but the CO got me, back to bed, orders you know. She reached out to check my temperature and I forced a chuckle.

"I'm O.K. Mom. Just tired. Seems like I've done nothing but put out fires for months if you can arrange for nothing to fall apart for a couple of days I will happily laze on the couch. Scout's honor."

"I think it's high time someone else shouldered a few of the superman duties around here. I don't care WHAT happens today, tomorrow, or the day after you are going stay on that couch and recover."

"Yes, ma'am" I could tell she was surprised that she wasn't getting an argument but that was the last thing I wanted.

"So why are you not going back to the couch?"

I wanted to but that same stubborn streak that had gotten me off the couch to begin with refused to concede total defeat.

"Mind if I sit in the kitchen for a little while?"

"I'll fix you some soup and tea before I head over to the medical center."

I pulled her into a hug before she could turn to go "I love you, Mom" I breathed into the top of her head having to blink hard before giving up an just closing my eyes. I shivered. And all but growled at myself. I was NOT cold. Damn, it wasn't like I'd never faced death before so why was this time different? Because every other time there had been something I could DO about it. I hadn't been trapped, just lying there waiting for it as the cold leeched everything out of me knowing that my failure to have Mimi toss me that damn gun before I sent her scampering over the hill had condemned all three of us. My screw up. Again. I'd given up on all of us out there in the cold and every moment after was a gift. Life was too short and too precious to squander in anger.

"Then don't **ever** worry me like that again" Mom didn't even bother to hide the tears. I hadn't meant to make her cry. God knows I'd probably done it enough through the years for several lifetimes.

I opened my mouth to promise but she shushed me "I know it wasn't your fault and I know the world is too crazy now for you to promise that you won't put yourself in danger. And for better or worse you seem to have come home determined to be a hero, so you promise me this and KEEP it. You won't go needlessly or recklessly into danger, that you will rest when you can afford to, and you will **NEVER** give up."

That made me wonder just what Dad had told her, but those were promises I could make, promises I should make. It wasn't fair to make Mom wait for me to come home for five years just to die needlessly. Looking her straight in the eye, "I swear."

I settled into the chair with a sigh as Mom tucked a second blanket around me. Generally speaking I made point of protesting being 'fussed' over but I had neither the energy nor the will today. Besides it felt nice.

I braced myself as I picked up the mug. I hated tea. I liked coffee but every drop was long since gone. I took a generous sip anyway since at least it would be warm "Where did you get honey?"

"I found an old, crystallized jar in the back of the pantry."

I didn't like tea and I didn't like honey "It's wonderful."

Mom patted me on the shoulder. I checked the old antique clock I'd drug out of the attic "Shouldn't you be at the clinic?"

"I'll be leaving shortly" she said looking to the door.

I sighed "Mom, I'm not five, you can leave before Dad gets back. I solemnly swear not to set the house on fire this time."

"That's a relief" she said dryly but she chuckled as she said it. Amazing how the end of the world and twenty years can make a minor disaster look entertaining. We both froze as the door swung open but it was just Pal.

"Didn't anyone ever teach you to knock?" Mom asked.

He dropped his head and whined.

"And where is Johnston?"

He shrugged, after getting trounced at checkers I shouldn't have been surprised, and yet I was. "Didn't you two go hunting together this morning?"

Pal chuffed and gave us a doggie grin.

"What'd'ya get?" I asked hobbling toward the door but he sat so I couldn't open it. It's bad when the dog joins in the conspiracy. I settled for peaking out the window. What the hell? "Where did you find _pronghorns_?!"

"What?"

"A couple of pronghorns" I repeated "would you mind letting John know to pick them up on your way to the clinic?"

She hesitated, worried, "Your father was supposed to be hunting with him."

"Mom, wolves can sprint over 40 mph. Dad probably just couldn't keep up and went down to town hall instead. Why don't you go check on you way to the clinic and if there is a problem send a runner back."

Mom crossed her arms and glared at Pal, "Did you get my husband lost?"

Pal made an indignant sounding chuff of denial. He certainly didn't seem to bark much.

Mom kissed me on the head "There's wood stacked by the fireplace and I'll set some soup and water by the fire so it'll stay warm and you get back on the couch soon."

"Not five" I reminded her but I smiled to take some of the sting out of it.

She tugged on the blanket before leaving.

"So" I said looking at Pal "Pronghorns. Do you realize how HARD it is to get a pronghorn hunting permit?"

He yawned in reply and looked over at the couch then back at me with the slightest wag of his tail.

"In a minute" I'd just gotten up and was exhausted again "Let me finish my tea first."

I got a long suspicious look in response before he trotted off.

I rose gingerly and set the now empty mug in the sink before hobbling back to the couch were Pal had already made himself cozy. He was better than an electric blanket. I sank my fingers into his surprisingly fine coat. I hadn't been able to feel my arms much less my fingers the other night, if it hadn't been for Pal I'd have lost a lot of skin if not fingertips.

I love dogs, loyal and faithful through thick and thin. I could always talk to dogs even when I couldn't seem to talk to anyone else.

"Dad doesn't trust you" a sad, resigned glance from those impossibly blue eyes. I had never, ever seen eyes like this on a dog. I had the strange notion that you could drown or get lost in them forever if you weren't careful. "Don't take it too hard though. You were starting from a significant disadvantage. I like you. And apparently the feeling is mutual." I got a blast of minty breath and a quick lick "In Dad's book that automatically makes you suspect. Now me I just want to know where you have the Scope stashed" I got an 'it's all mine' in reply 'some things you just don't share' "Fine be that way" his tail thumped against my leg. "None of my friends were ever good enough and in the end I wasn't good enough either." I sighed "Apparently that's changed, now, I'm back to being good enough, at least until the next time we have a difference of opinion" I paused "It's not that he doesn't love me, he does. I know that now but" I blinked up at the ceiling until Pal nudged me with his nose "Sorry, I don't want you to think my Dad's a bad guy because he's not. He's a great guy but he's a little …judgmental. He's not a racist or anything he just doesn't like to associate with anyone 'lacking in moral character'." Pal made a sound I wasn't quite certain how to identify. He was certainly vocal but not in a 'dog-like' way. I scratched his ears and got a little contented sigh. "Like that huh? As I said you're starting in the hole. Dad thinks I'm the world's worst judge of character." I paused again, thinking of all the friends Dad never, ever would have approved of, and granted most of them were in prison or dead but that didn't make them evil incarnate. Dad would have HATED Freddie but he had saved my ass. Of course my ass wouldn't have BEEN there if it wasn't for Freddie. That was another thing Dad hated, not taking the blame, except that I was, generally, willing to take the blame for what **I** had done. Dad was a little too big on guilt by association for my tastes. Hell, back in '92 I'd ended up spending the night in jail. Dad's little attempt at 'scared straight', my big crime? Treating Jonah Prowse like a human being. I could feel the old anger slinking around the corners of my mind. Pal gave me another nudge with his nose.

"Sorry, kind of left you hanging didn't I?" my turn to sigh "I just think if you're going to join the family you should know all the baggage you're signing on for. Of course if the fact that I" I had to pause, swallow hard, force myself to say it again "killed a little girl" Pal licked my chin before gazing at me with those bottomless blue eyes. Angel eyes. Forgiveness, compassion, empathy. No accusations, no condemnation. God, I love dogs. I laid my head against his fighting not to cry and then, what the hell, he wasn't my Dad or one of the guys. Besides I taken her life the least I could do was shed a few tears as Pal made a crooning sound down in is throat. I wiped my eyes and roughed up his silken pale gold fur. "Still here huh?" he cocked his head and I could almost hear the 'of course, where would I go?'

"See most people will tell you that I am a chip off of Grandpa's block but that isn't quite true. Grandpa was a lot like Dad when it came to snap judgments but Mom…you know up until this fiasco with Eric and April, I would have said there was nothing Mom wouldn't forgive in a heartbeat." Mom had really surprised me with Eric. Actually both parents had. If I so much as breathed out of line the hammer of Dad was ready to smite me but Mom had been the eye of the storm through everything. Dad wasn't treating Eric one whit different than he always had while Mom had developed a razor wire tongue overnight. "Mom, Mom almost always sees the best in people. She's always ready to give almost anyone" except Mary Bailey I thought "a fresh start and a second chance. That's were Eric and I differ, he's just like Mom except with Dad's judgmental streak and I'm just like Grandpa without it." I took a sip of water "I was sixteen, bored, looking for trouble, wanting to REALLY piss Dad off when Mitch suddenly had the **sweetest** set of" did the wolf just roll his eyes at me? He looked decidedly amused "wheels. I did some asking around found out that Jonah Prowse was running a freight company just outside town. Rumor was he was letting some of the guys use his tools and an empty garage bay to work on their cars. Dad was snapping mad that he hadn't been able to run him out of town. He didn't like having an ex-con around since he figured Jonah wasn't precisely reformed."

I sighed "And Dad wasn't exactly wrong. The chance for a cool car and an annoyed Dad was just way more than I was capable of resisting." Pal arched one deeper gold brown in an almost Spock-like expression "Hey I am only human. I'd been down there just hanging out a couple of times checking out the lay of the land, easing myself in when Eric ratted me out. Dad and the sheriff trumped up some charge to get in, busted everyone for one stinking lousy joint." I snorted "'In this family we don't take the law into our own hands' bullshit!" Even now more than half a lifetime later part of me was still pissed "Dad figured a night in a cell would teach me 'where friends like that were taking me'. What it did was turn a skirmish into a war. Dad will tell you Jonah is the devil incarnate but it isn't true. He's no saint but he has more decency than Dad would ever believe. Not to mention that he keeps his word better than Dad ever has." God, but that came out even more bitterly than I intended.

"And he has a skill that neither Dad nor Grandpa were ever very good at. I have never met anyone that can listen like Jonah can. Well, except maybe you" that got me a tail thump. It wasn't just flattery either there was a focused interest in his eyes and bearing that dogs generally lacked unless you happened to be holding a steak. "I helped him restore one _**fine**_ piece of automotive engineering. He taught me as much about cars along the way as Grandpa did about planes." I paused playing with his collar and he went utterly still. There was a flicker of fear in those blue eyes but he didn't growl or snarl. Someone had hurt him, I could almost taste an old pain and terror. I slowly pull my hands away and showed them to him "No messing with your neck? OK, I'll remember that. One thing about Jonah though, nothing is ever free. He does you a favor then you owe him one and before I knew it I was in deeper than I had ever planned to go."

"If you talk to folk around town they'll tell you Em is how I got tangled up with Johan but it's just the opposite. Em's Mom broke all ties when Chris was born, even changed all their names to her maiden one. Em was only four when Ms. Sullivan tossed him out. She barely remembered her Dad. She certainly had no idea he was in town and her Mom had every intention of keeping it that way. Johan knew she'd never let him get close so he figured he'd lure in some of the teenage guys and pick a messenger from among her classmates. When the car was finished he set the hook. The car in exchange for arranging a meeting with his daughter."

I made a sound halfway between a chuckle and a moan. The wolf gave me a comforting nuzzle "I was so jazzed. Em and I had been hanging out together nearly as long as Stanley and I and it had just dawned on my adolescent brain that Em was actually a girl and a hot one at that. I had some delusion that we were going to end up together in some bizarre post-modern happily ever after" I beat the back of my head against the arm of the couch a few times until Pal laid a paw on my chest. I could almost hear the 'please stop that'. "For a while things were cool. Dad was stewing in his own juice, I actually proposed to Em, I went to flight school and when I got back I started working for Jonah. Em and I had a blast riding the edge without quite going over it. Everything was great until Mitch started riding Chris, going on about how he wasn't exactly a chip off the old block. How he needed to do a job if he was ever going to be a man. I expected Jonah to shut Mitch down" Damn Mitch, Chris' best friend my ass "but he didn't. He let Chris do a couple of gravy jobs and they both got this crazy notion that he was actually ready for something bigger. Jonah wanted me to watch his back but it was just, it was too far, I wouldn't do it. I knew he wasn't ready. I tried to talk him out of it. I tried to convince Jonah he wasn't ready when that didn't work I flat out refused to help" I drew a deep breath "I thought they would abort instead they sent him out with Mitch and Chris, Chris"

'Died. Not your fault' I held my breath for a second. Eric had called my instinct for knowing what dogs and horses wanted or needed a product of my overactive imagination but I had never heard anything so clear. It was like he had spoken. Maybe my brain still had frostbite. "It didn't matter if it was my fault or not. Em blamed me for it, Johan blamed me for it. All Eric could do was say 'I told you so' and the thought of facing Dad…. I couldn't stay here anymore I just ran. I ran for five years getting myself into more and more trouble. Funny thing if it wasn't for the bombs I would probably be dead. I was being chased by some very bad people when I came here hoping to get the inheritance Grandpa left me to put some distance between them and me but Dad" I could still remember the knot of dread when Dad refused me my best chance at survival "wouldn't let me have it."

Pal growled, a deep rumbled that shook my entire chest. "He didn't know, I didn't tell him, I just showed up after five years of silence, I checked in with Mom a few times but I made her swear not to tell him, and asked him to hand over 150 thousand dollars. Dad usually knew when I was bullshitting him. He knew I wasn't telling the truth. It's not his fault." Pal was still glaring, unconvinced. "It **wasn't** his fault, I'm the screw up." Those strange blue eyes bore into mine before that strange not-voice whispered 'No you aren't, now rest'. As I drifted off to sleep I could have sworn I heard a lullaby.

**Johnston**

Eric shook his head "I still can't believe we bagged three deer practically inside town limits."

"Just make certain you spread the word about Paullus."

"Who is Paullus?" Gail asked from behind me.

"Little boy about so high, with long blond curls, pouty lips, and a tendency to use words longer than he is tall who I suspect is on his own."

Gail gasped "And you didn't bring him home?!"

I just knew that was going to be her response. "I found him right after that blasted wolf gave me the slip and then he promptly gave me the slip too."

"Speaking of Pal, he's back. There are a couple of pronghorn stags in the back yard."

I did a double take "Pronghorns?"

"Swear to God." She looked worried.

"How's Jake?" Eric beat me to asking as I worried about that damn wolf, the kid, and what I hoped Phil Constantino wasn't doing over in New Bern.

Gail directed the answer at me instead of Eric "I caught our firstborn trying to sneak down to town hall."

I didn't know if I should be proud or furious "So should I be going down there?"

"No" she said softly "He just folded the instant I told him he wasn't going anywhere. Honestly, he sounded grateful for the reprieve."

That didn't sound like Jake, not at all.

"My God, Oliver is right, it was aliens and they've stolen the real Jake" Eric quipped but he looked worried.

"If that was the case they would have returned him by now. I'm certain he's just tired and learned a little good sense in his time away" I told Gail but I knew there was more to it. I needed to get home but there was something I wanted, well I didn't WANT to do it but it had been eating at me ever since I saw the boy.

"Dad?"

I glanced up at Gail and Eric "I think I'll head on home and let Jake beat me at checkers again."

Eric scoffed "You haven't been _letting_ him win since he was in sixth grade."

Jake had always been better than good at checkers only to be trounced by a wolf. Those eyes, the wolf's eyes the boy's eyes. The whole idea was nuts. She had been a crazy old woman. But I heard myself ask anyway "Bob, I want something from my Dad's safe deposit box would you mind?"

"No problem. I might as well check on the bank, haven't been over there in a few days."

I had been half hoping he'd say no.

Eric was looking at me oddly "I just want to look at something."

"Mary's is on the way, mind if I come with you?"

Actually, I did, but there was no way to shake my faithful shadow without it seeming like a punishment and Gail was heaping enough hot coals on the poor kid's head.

"Why not?"

"Dad, what's wrong?"

How to even begin? How to say it and not sound like a mad man?

"One of my great-grandmothers was a Kikapu medicine woman."

Eric was surprised enough to stop and had to half-run to catch up "I didn't think the Kikapu married outsiders."

"Not often" I said in a tone that did NOT encourage further conversation. I hoped Eric would take the hint and leave but apparently Jake had been rubbing off on him and he followed me in. My damn hands would not stop shaking.

"Dad, please."

"I only met her once. She was supposedly some sort of seer. When I was four my grandmother took me to have her read my future or some such nonsense but instead of seeing mine she started talking about my sons. One a comfort to a father's heart, the other a Raven child, whatever the blazes that means. She had a stroke right there screaming about the end of the white man's world and the sky being on fire. Scared the hell out of me." I fell silent as Bob approached, thanked him, and then stared at box like there was a viper inside. "She only lived for about a week afterward and according to your grandfather she spent the entire time 'making medicine' for the 'Raven Child'."

"So that's where Jake's inexplicable luck comes from" Eric quipped with just the barest hint of bitterness under the eye rolling sarcasm.

"Among other things she called 'the beast that is not a beast, the child that is not a child' to watch over him and help him."

Eric's brow furrowed "So what is it?"

"Apparently he's some sort of, damn, I don't know, magical creature or spirit or some superstitious nonsense." I unlocked the box and stared at the old, cracked leather pouch with its beaded raven and tattered feather "this was supposed to go to your brother, to draw the…beast to him but I forbad Dad on pain of never seeing any of us again to give this" I could feel my face twist "thing to your brother."

Eric blinked at me in shock.

I slammed the damn box shut this had been a bad idea. It was a fluke, yes, I had two sons and yes, they fit her prediction and yes, the white man's world had fallen around us, and yes, there had been fire in the sky but….hell.

"So, what's in the medicine bag?"

"A rendering of the 'beast' designed to call it to your brother." I had survived two tours in Vietnam and the end of everything I had ever known I was not going to be intimidated by a leather pouch. I open the box back up, yanking the bag open but the nearly sixty year old leather cracked spilling out the carved stone inside. Eric audibly swallowed as we looked at sparkling blue eyes set into the face of a golden wolf. I reached out and flipped it over, the other side was a little boy with pouty lips and ringlets.

Eric opened his mouth and shut it four times before just muttering "OK now I'm spooked. So what do we do?"

"It's just a coincidence, it **HAS** to be. I gotta get home, could you have Bob lock this back up?"

"Sure" he muttered still staring at the wolf carving "Did she say anything else?"

"I never wanted to know" I confessed.

"Do you mind if I look through this stuff?"

"Knock yourself out."

I walked home in a daze. The wolf, if it was a wolf, of COURSE it was a wolf, was giving me a decidedly unfriendly look. I didn't recall getting that kind of hard look before. He didn't snarl or growl but there was a warning in it all the same. Paullus had been almost teasing and playful this morning and wolf had been reasonably friendly. Did it know?

Jake was still asleep so I settled into the recliner opposite him "Do we have a problem?"

The whatever it was, the wolf, it was a wolf, a very intelligent, well trained wolf pup canted his head at me questioningly.

"Because this morning you seemed to like me and now you seem a little… reserved."

'You hurt him, don't do it again' he wrapped a paw over Jake and glared at me. His anger was like a presence in the room, a power that pressed against me. If, IF there was a grain of truth in any of this then Jericho needed every advantage it could muster my own fears notwithstanding. I fought not to flinch. Gail didn't know it but Jake's knack with animals was more than that. Supposedly it was the family 'magic' it didn't show up in every child or even every generation. According to Grandmother I had it and I had made a point of avoiding animals as much as possible. I let Gail keep the ranch, she was the one that insisted I let Jake have his first puppy but I did my best to be as uninvolved as possible but I had never, ever had anything come through that clear. It wasn't real. I was just spooked and imagining things.

Jake's eyes danced under his lids and he moaned. The little wolf immediately turned to him, all his attention focused on my son…..

I started surprised to find myself blinking up at Jake when he had just been asleep over on the couch.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. You looked like you could use a blanket."

As usual with Jake lately I was somewhere between proud and exasperated though on a lesser scale as I watched him hobble the whole two steps back to the couch "Thank you, son, but I could have hunted down my own blanket."

"Needed to move a little anyway. Anything exciting happen today?"

"Not really" I glanced at the wolf who gave every indication of being asleep "Pal intentionally gave me the slip but your brother and I bagged three deer on Washington Street."

Jake's jaw dropped. "According to Paullus that's where Pal got the white-tails yesterday."

"Paullus, who's Paullus?"

"A little boy, new in town. He showed up exactly where I lost Pal and he knew where he was hunting yesterday."

"Hey Pal" Jake said waking the wolf "do you belong to someone else?"

He chuffed a denial and licked Jake's chin no different from any other dog through the years. God but I had let my imagination run wild.

"Jake about yesterday" he closed his eyes and half turned away from me. The wolf turned toward me and whined 'tell him what you did' brushed against my mind. I swallowed. How many bridges had Gail built over the years that I had refused to cross? Jake may have burned them but only after I failed to use them. My turn.

"When I was in Viet-Nam I did some things that still give me nightmares shed some blood that will never come clean."

"Did you ever kill a little girl?" he breathed into the couch.

My reply was nearly as quiet "There was a little boy, not sure what his real name was, we called him Hershey because he was always begging for chocolate. He might have been seven but I doubt it. He was always around, some of the guys gave him odds and ends. One day I was playing cards with my buddies. I looked up and Hershey was trotting toward us carrying something behind his back. I didn't even think I just fired while shouting a warning. One of the guys ended up losing some fingers when the grenade went off but Hershey was the only casualty." I drew a deep breath still seeing his face and the blood "No, to the best of my knowledge I never shot a little girl but all I had was instinct to tell me that it was a grenade those sons of bitches had told Hershey to give us. Still have nightmares occasionally that I was wrong, can still see his little face with one missing tooth as clear as if it was yesterday."

"He was armed. You where defending yourself and your men."

My heart dropped into my shoes. Damn I was hoping she had had a gun or a bomb or something "How did the accident happen?"

"How do you know it was an accident?" he still wouldn't look at me.

"Son, we may have had our differences, there may have been times when you disappointed me" he made a small sound I wasn't certain how to interpret "but I will never believe, at your absolute worst, that you are, have been, or will ever be capable of intentionally shooting an unarmed child."

"Doesn't matter if I was shooting at her or not, first rule always be certain of your target. I didn't check carefully enough and she got in between me and the 'insurgents'." What a nightmare, a kid in a crossfire, oh Jake. "My finger on the trigger, my responsibility." He sounded like he was about three breaths short of balling again. Oh son, together we made such a damn mess of everything. I certainly didn't bear all the blame for this but I wasn't innocent either. The wolf gave me a 'is that the best you can do look'. I rose and pulled him to me. I had expected resistance but he didn't fight.

"I'm sorry son, I'm so sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry about" he mumbled into my chest, echoing my own words "made my own bed and Freddie should have just let me lie in it." If the wolf hadn't echoed them I never would have heard his next words "He should have just let them kill me."

I needed to answer that and I needed to do it quickly, funny, I could always find the right words for the town but I could never seem to find them for Jake. There was some much damn water under the bridge between us we'd filled the entire Atlantic and half the Pacific.

"If the world ever settles back down, I would like you to introduce me to Freddie" I knew as he froze, then glanced at me in disbelief that I'd stepped wrong again. "I'd like to thank him for saving my son's life."

"Ravenwood killed him. He died in my arms."

Eric had mentioned Jake's little chat in Rouge River and now it sounded like Ravenwood's misbehavior predated the bombs. I should have let him talk that night when he tried to tell me where he'd been but my head had been pounding and I had convinced myself that he'd been in prison I figured better for us both that I let him keep his secrets. I had thought I had given him a reprieve instead I had let half closed wounds fester. I had told him to shut up about Ravenwood like he was a wayward six year old. Damn.

"In Iraq?"

A shake of the head "San Diego, the day before I came home."

"What?!"

He flinched, "After the girl I told Grayson" the wolf's head popped up and around. There was a swirl of emotions I couldn't even begin to disentangle and quite frankly wasn't interested in since all my focus was for Jake "that I couldn't work for him anymore. He looked down that aristocratic nose of his and gave me a lecture about how disappointed he was that I would allow something so" he had to pause fighting for control "trifling to interfere with my career. He said I was far too fine a pilot to languish on some milk toast run and when I came to my senses his generous offer would still be available. When I told him I wanted my entire account to go to the survivors he smiled like the damn cat that ate the canary. I wasn't worried about money. I had a little tucked away in San Diego and I still had all my credentials. I figured I wouldn't have any trouble landing a job but when I got back to the States I discovered that my passport had been flagged and every single interview I went on ground to a halt when certain 'discrepancies' cropped up."

"Grayson black balled you" it was scary just how many 'bad guys' wanted my son.

"You think?" you could cut the bitterness and spread it on toast, if we had any toast "I spent six months trying to get a job when Freddie used my reputation as a pilot that could land anything anywhere and then get a convoy through the worst terrain" And the kid certainly could land a jumbo jet on a postage stamp "to line up a job with Ravenwood. Problem was I wanted absolutely nothing to do with it. They gave him a pretty good pounding and his fiancée came by to remind me that I owed him my life." Jake ran his hand through his hair. "Ravenwood. I'd seen more than enough of their work in Iraq and Afghanistan. If I had to go back I would have much rather have worked for Grayson again. He might be an ice man but he believes in discipline. He might not give a rat's ass about civilians in principle but nothing got in the way of the bottom line, and he hated the press. He didn't tolerate any 'extracurricular activities'. He despised Ravenwood for their 'sloppiness'." He swallowed eyes seeing nothing in the room "Not only did they kill needlessly they didn't do a very good job of cleaning up. When I got back to my apartment the Feds were waiting for me. Ravenwood was selling weapons to the enemy and they wanted a man Ravenwood would trust on the inside to take them down. I went to warn Freddie and we decided that Ravenwood would kill us. We were going to run and they killed him. Gut shot. He bled out just like she did. I grabbed his fiancée, got her on the bus, had us split up in hopes that it would make us harder to track, came here to try and get Grandpa's money so I could stay one step ahead of them."

"If it hadn't been for the bombs they would have killed you, wouldn't they?" I asked with more anger than I had intended.

He shrugged "Probably."

"And you didn't feel that was information that was important enough to share?" I had wanted to teach Jake a lesson that day. How DARE he just vanish, then think he could just waltz back in take his Grandfather's inheritance and ride off into the sunset – except he'd been running for his life. I drew a deep breath and found myself looking into a pair of blue eyes. Barking at Jake wasn't going to help. God knows we'd fought enough for a dozen lifetimes and all it had ever done was make things worse. "I could have gotten you killed."

A shrug, a little twist of the lips. How had things gone so wrong?

"Not like my life is worth much."

I wanted to turn him over my knee, I wanted to shake some sense into him, but as I shifted the little wolf snarled a warning. I wanted to pop him in his furry face but he likely had a point because those methods had worked so **very** well in the past.

I fought to keep a growl out of my voice, fought not to be the drill sergeant that Jake seemed incapable of not rebelling against, and made it a plea instead "Son, look at me, what happened to Chris was NOT your fault. What happened to that little girl was a terrible ACCIDENT. Jake you are priceless to your mother." I almost winced at his flinch "And you are priceless to ME." I tried to telegraph that to him but whatever 'gift' we supposedly shared it was a one way street that had never let us connect. "I know that I didn't exactly welcome you home with open arms and I am sorry. I have been afraid for you for so long because, God, you never seemed to have any notion of consequences so I tried to lecture them into you and when that failed I tried to discipline them into you. I could see so much of myself in you and I didn't want you to make my mistakes. I'm not sorry about the lectures or the disciple but I am sorry that I covered my fear in anger, that I made this house place of judgment where you were guilty until proven innocent"

"Like that ever happened" he muttered I nearly bit my tongue not retorting 'like you ever were'.

"And I am sorry that I stopped listening to you, that I made sure you couldn't talk to me. I love you too much not to lecture when I think you're wrong but I promise to start listening again."

The wolf shook his head and I had the distinct impression that he wasn't impressed. I could care less.

"I told you can talk to me and I meant it. There is nothing you would ever do that could make me stop loving you."

A tentative glance. I wondered if Eric was right, the aliens must have taken the real Jake because the kid had never been tentative in his life. His expression was both hopeful and wary. My son didn't trust me. That hurt.

"Your mistakes?"

Should have known he'd sink his teeth into that. This family never let you forget a mistake and I was the one who started that little bad habit of ours and taught it to both my sons. The little wolf yawned and dozed off while I considered how to begin.

"I wasn't drafted into the Army but I didn't precisely volunteer either."

A flicker of a grin "What did you do?"

"Jake, this is not funny" the kid's eyes were positively twinkling "and what I did is not the point." You could see the wheels spinning in his head. At least it had perked him up a bit. There was more talking that needed to be done but maybe what little we had covered was enough for right now. "The point is I brashly ignored the advice of older, possibly wiser, heads than my own and ended up serving two tours in hell. I didn't want to see that happen to you and I ended up driving you right into it."

"Dad, I could have landed a nice, safe job driving a flying bus but that wasn't what I wanted. I got myself into that disaster all on my own. Just like I got mixed up with Jonah on my own. My actions, my problems."

"You are my son" I began gruffly then stopped myself, drew a deep breath and continued "sorry, old habits die hard. It's any Dad's natural inclination to try and step in and fix things. And given the way a certain someone who shall remain nameless has been acting since he came home it appears to be a family trait."

It was hard to tell under borderline frostbite but I think he flushed before he dropped his head again but this time it wasn't an 'I'm so ashamed that I want to melt into the floor' move but more of an 'awe shucks, that weren't nothing' embarrassed duck. And I was becoming a sentimental fool in my old age. It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him how proud I was of him but praise should be given sparingly besides I didn't want to encourage him too much he had already come entirely too close to getting himself killed. Jimmy and Bill had both given me their accounts of the bridge debacle a few days later and it painted Jake in a much better light than Eric's had. I hated to agree with Johan Prowse about anything but we had come entirely too close to burying Jake in a shoebox and I was the one who hadn't been there to take charge of the situation and ERIC was the one that had led Ravenwood right to us. If a Green had dropped the ball that day it hadn't been Jake but he was the one who had ended up with the blame. It was easy to do since he had been the one shouldering all the blame for everything for a very long time. Time for that to stop, no more guilty until proven innocent speaking of which I should probably tell him he hadn't been completely wrong with the Jonah/Gracie debacle but I could not bring myself to say anything positive about that sorry excuse for a human being. The little wolf whined a little in his sleep, paws twitching but settled when Jake scratched his ears.

"Gray isn't the only one who learned the hard way about the dangers of vigilante justice either" blast that had not just fallen out of my mouth…one glance at Jake proved that it had. What I had done to Hershey was something I was never ever going to forget. I regretted that I had to kill him, and it haunted me, but I wasn't ashamed of what I had done. What I had let happen to Private Smith was in a league all its own.

"When I was in 'Nam there was a special forces operative who occasionally worked with us. We thought the sun rose and set on him. There was no where he couldn't go, nothing he couldn't do. He was cool as hell, charismatic, the best sniper I have ever seen in my life, and he could do things with a knife that you would not believe. I had a private under me that made your worst bit of foolishness look brilliant. We started finding the bodies of kids in the bush that had" I couldn't say it even now "had terrible things done to them. Circumstantial evidence pointed to Private Smith so one day I sent him out on point in an area we knew was thick with the enemy and we just quietly pulled back." I stared at the fire no more willing to meet Jake's eyes than he had been willing to look at me earlier. "We found what was left of him a few days later. And then the next week we found another little boy. Turns out it was 'code name' 'Gundahar' the s.o.b. I thought was so blasted perfec."

Jake was silent a moment "Gundahar?"

The little wolf came up out of his sleep with a howl that sounded almost like a scream radiating pure, panicked terror.

"Hey, hey, it was just a nightmare" Jake murmured soothingly while I tried to convince myself that it had been purely my own imagination that had dreamed up an image of 'Gundahar' swaggering into a tent wearing a wolf skin holding a bloody sword. Paullus' comment about the fall of Rome must have been working overtime in my subconscious. Thinking about Gundahar had reminded me of something else. Our south Vietnamese liaison had insisted from the beginning that 'Gundahar' was a Bat Tu Quy, a deathless evil spirit. He'd had no shortage of 'ghost' stories about them. Some were even supposed to be able to turn into wolves. Blast, I was making up reasons to be jumpy. I was certain there would be a perfectly rational, logical, mundane explanation for all this. Speaking of which I needed to find a certain little boy with an affinity for roof tops before he got himself hurt.

12


	5. Needs

X-Factor: Chapter 5: Needs

**Author's notes:** I'm not happy with this one but as a few reviewers have pointed out all of my stories have sat without updates for too long so….here it is such as it is. A huge thank you to everyone who reviewed! (LadyMadonnasBaby sorry to be later than sort of promised. It's all Eric's fault….)

**X-Factor: Chapter 5: Needs**

**April**

I was beginning to think that I should just move to the clinic. It was getting harder and harder to make the walk and now that Jim had died of a heart attack I was Jericho's sole remaining doctor. At least the sole WORKING doctor since Kenchy Dhuwalia seemed content to pickle his liver in that Mary Bailey's bar and ignore his oath and the people who needed his skills. When I'd finally managed to corner him about it he had had the nerve to ask if anyone needed plastic surgery and when I'd retorted 'of course not' he had smugly told me that when his expertise was required and the proper facilities were available he would be happy to practice medicine again and until then he would leave the town in the hands of 'general practitioners' as it should be. He made me even angrier than Eric who had wandered in just as I was leaving making the entire day just perfect. I wanted to throw something. I took a few deep breaths before actually walking in, trying to leave my frustrations outside. Gail, Johnston, and Jake had been wonderful and there was no reason to vent on them. 

Pal had his paws up on the top of the couch. He chuffed and nodded a greeting before dropping back down to his usual spot behind Jake. I pulled my stethoscope free just as Jake made the last jump of the game.

"Maybe you should ask Pal to give you some pointers."

"I am smarter than that wolf."

A suspiciously mocking sounding chuff came from behind Jake. 

"And I am old enough that I can graciously have some mercy on the wounded."

Jake rolled his eyes but there was a teasing playfulness I had never seen between them. Gail had talked about what a happy little boy Jake had been, how close he had been to Johnson but the only evidence I had ever seen of it had been the sheer bitter anger they directed at each other, the smoldering rage, and Jake's desperate, almost frantic attempts to prove that his father's digs didn't hurt. It took real closeness to be able to lacerate someone else that way. I hated, hated, hated, what the bombs had done to the world and I was angry about those men trying to kill Jake, Stanley, and Mimi but there was more peace between Jake and his father right now than I had ever seen. That wasn't to say that there was no tension but apparently watching Jake nearly die had put a few things in perspective for both of them. Men! I wondered if Johnston realized just how close it had been. I was never going to forget that fragile erratic pulse when they brought him in half delirious and at death's door. 82 degrees **after** the ride in. I had told them he was lucky, he was, I'd seen people who weren't nearly that cold die. 

"Hey Doc" he grinned up at me "how are you two?"

"We're fine" I said reassured by the steady rhythm of his heart. It had been all over the map when they brought him in and even a couple of days later it was good to hear it as it should be. I had always felt a little sorry for Jake since Eric seemed to care so little for him.

"How is he?"

"I'm fine Mom."

"You let April be the judge of that."

"Still wheezing a little" I made certain to catch his eye "I know you're probably getting board trouncing your Dad at checkers but I'd rather you stayed inside until it stops. I don't want to risk pneumonia."

While I wasn't surprised to see a flash of rebellion I was shocked to see a flicker of relief as well, enough to make me worry about PTSD. 

"Do you need any help with dinner?"

"You stay in here and referee, I've got it in hand."

"What are we having?"

"I figured we have enough venison for now so I gave the entire mule deer Pal brought home today to the town but I kept the pheasant for tonight and as cold as its been I'm hoping the turkey will keep for Christmas."

I licked my lips "I have been craving potatoes something fierce."

Jake brushed a hand across mine "That has to be rough." Pal laid his head on Jake's shoulder looking thoughtful before bounding off the couch and into the kitchen.

"What in tarnation is he up to now?" Johnson asked.

Jake shrugged as he put one of those dinner plate paws on a cabinet and looked at Gail expectantly. 

"What on Earth does he want in there?"

"A bag" Jake replied nonchalantly while resetting the board. 

Pal gave him what I could have sworn was a shocked stare.

"Is this what you wanted?" Gail offered him a handled bag which he took, he shot Jake a second almost nervous glance before letting himself out into the night. 

"What was that about?"

Jake shrugged looking thoughtful himself before waving to the board "Care for a rematch?"

I laughed "Not without Pal to help."

"Monopoly then?"

Eric swore Jake was the world's worst cheat and that one day he was going to catch him at it. 

"I'll spot you Park Place and Dad Marvin Gardens" he offered. 

I had been nearly as pissed at Jake as at Eric when I found out about Mary since Jake had known and said nothing. When I asked him why he'd shrugged and said 'I'm not a rat'. Rat. That pretty much summed up Eric. Suck-up came to mind too. He didn't even LIKE blueberries and he sat there and said that he was craving his mom's blueberry pie at Thanksgiving. Hypocrite too, he'd bragged about how clever he'd been at ferreting out what Jake was doing, puffed up about being 'the good boy'. Two timing jerk. When I looked up Johnston was gone and Jake was being very very still.

"I'm not angry at you."

"Good to know."

"Where did your Dad go?" 

"He went to see if Mom needed any help in the kitchen."

"So you're going to spot me Park Place?"

"Dad if you're not too busy the offer of Marvin Gardens still stands."

"I promise I won't bite" I added.

"I was just checking if Gail needed a hand."

"Amazing how you haven't thought of that in years" she commented from the kitchen.

Johnston hrumphed before announcing "I'll take the car" as Jake snagged the horseman leaving me with the old shoe or the dog.

If Jake was cheating I couldn't tell but he was certainly winning. Johnston looked up in surprise when the door swung open "I could have sworn I locked that."

Pal trotted up to me tail wagging before setting a bag full of dirty lumps at my feet and giving me a wide doggy grin. Jake grabbed one and chipping a little more dirt off asked Pal "Where did you find potatoes?"

"I just hope he didn't steal them" Johnston commented sourly.

Gail picked one up "If someone knew they had potatoes they would have dug them already" she frowned "they're blue."

"Blue?" Jake echoed then chuckled "I bet I know exactly where he got them."

"Do we want to know?"

"You remember old Miss Hendricks?"

"Who could forget the only person in town with less good sense than Oliver? But that overgrown, weird garden of hers was picked clean months ago" Johnston sat back and grumbled "Don't tell me you were stealing from the loony bat."

A flicker of old pain passed across Jake's face but instead of lashing back he just patiently said "She never handed out candy at Halloween instead it was bags of wild colored beans, or purple parsnips, or blue potatoes but she made such a fuss if you didn't come by that is was easier to just go. We used to dump it all down along the creek. I wonder what else is growing wild down there?" 

"Pal and your father can check it out tomorrow" Gail decreed and I had to chuckle at all three of their faces. Jake was ready to argue, Johnson looked like he'd been forced fed a green lemon, and Pal, well I didn't have a lot of experience with wolves but I'd seen a similar expression on kids facing the prospect of shots. Johnston grabbed the dice and smiled "I never would have dreamed you would ever be upset at the prospect of not getting to chip potatoes out of the frozen ground."

"Oh, I certainly don't mind avoiding the digging. I just haven't gotten to see Pal in action yet."

"I'm certain there will be plenty of time later" Johnston said and sighed as he landed on one of Jake's many properties.

I stared up at the ceiling. I was exhausted and tomorrow was going to be another long day. I NEEDED to sleep but it eluded me. All I could do was lie in my cold, empty bed and think about…everything. The truth was I wasn't the world's best doctor. Before the bombs I had been adequate, youngest and most inexperienced of the three of us that manned the clinic. Key word being **three.** A few months ago if I needed a consultation both of my erstwhile colleagues were ready and eager to help, and County down at Rogue River was just a phone call away. I had had medicines, machines, and a helicopter at my beck and call to take the cases that were beyond my skills, now. I sighed, blinking hard, now I was all the town had and I was alone and pregnant. It was getting so hard. It would be so easy to pull up a bar stool next to Kenchy's. If that Mary Bailey didn't have the only bar in town I might even be tempted. I was not going to cry. No more tears. The situation was what it was and I would just have to make it work. Somehow. HOW! I started at the soft chuff.

"Come in" I whispered. The light of the waning moon turned Pal's coat a ghostly silver as he glided silently across the floor. There was just enough moonlight to make out his earnest gaze as he laid a paw on the side of the bed and whined softly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you" this was utterly ridiculous, I was apologizing to a dog for goodness sake. He shook his head before setting his other paw on the bed so that he was sitting up blinking at me.

"Jake's going to wonder where you went."

A flicker of an ear and a cock of the head in the correct direction, a moment of listening followed by much quieter imitation of Jake's snores that even I could hear now that the door was slightly ajar.

I gave him a half-hearted smile "I guess I'm not the one that woke you."

He whined and laid his head on the covers blinking soulfully up at me.

"I'm really grateful for the potatoes but I don't think you can help this time unless you have a source of medical supplies?"

A thoughtful withdraw, long consideration, and a tentative bob of the head.

"You can get medical supplies?"

I received the same chuff I'd gotten when I'd made a correct move.

"What, you have an in with Santa?"

He jerked back, then gave me a wide doggie grin tail wagging as he made a little circle before sitting again with his paws on the bed and leaning forward expectantly. "You really want my Christmas wish list?"

He gave a muted bark, the first I had ever heard from him and an impatient head bob. It was silly but what could it hurt? I dozed off in the middle of a list of critical supplies we had run out of months ago.

**Johnston**

Jake reading. I wanted the camera. I had no idea when or how I would get the film developed but getting him to crack a book in high school had been like pulling teeth. Then I noticed what was missing. 

"Where's Pal?"

"He went hunting before dawn" Jake said without looking up "I warmed up some water for the oatmeal."

I LOATHED oatmeal. At least it was good for me. I restrained a shiver as I debated putting another log on the fire. Not yet. 

"Did April leave already?"

A shake of the head, "I'm worried about her. I'm going to talk to Kenchy again about helping out. It's too much for one doctor alone" Jake said quietly so that his words didn't travel upstairs.

I sighed. I had had my own little chats with Kenchy. The man was not going to budge. I stirred my oatmeal and Jake snickered.

"I don't recall you being a fan of oatmeal either."

"Not in this lifetime."

I forced myself to take a bite and be thankful for it as a comfortable silence I had feared was gone forever settled around Jake and I.

I was setting my bowl in the sink when Pal made his reappearance dragging a button buck not much bigger than he was.

"Is that all you bagged?" I said wincing just a touch at my own belittling tone. I hadn't actually meant to sound quite so unpleasant. I seemed to be going from lashing out at Jake to bashing his wolf which was not going to win me any points with my firstborn who was blinking at me in surprise that I knew from experience was going to change to anger soon if I didn't do something.

"Let me give you a hand with that" I offered in a less hostile tone. The wolf dropped the little buck and glided back into the snarl of wild rose and honeysuckle strangled shrubbery in the neighbor's yard that had driven me nuts for years and reemerged with a second slightly larger spike buck as I dumped the first one into the wheelbarrow along with a couple of shovels. 

"He couldn't possibly have fit another in there" Jake said dubiously as the little wolf trotted back to the snarl he emerged with what looked to be three or four Jack rabbits held in his jaws like a multi-headed fuzzy bouquet which he presented to Jake.

"Should I keep the rabbits as hunters cut since we still have venison from the first buck?" I found myself hoping the weather stayed cool since at this point we had over a week's worth of meat even giving most of what Pal was bringing in to the rest of the town.

"You mind dressing them out for your mother?" I figured he'd be going stir crazy soon. This would give him something useful but fairly quick and easy to do. I'd noted the slight hesitation on the threshold. April might want to keep him in but best he get back it the saddle, just for a few minutes, I didn't want to risk pneumonia any more than she did.

"You ready to dig some potatoes?" I asked the wolf who chuffed an agreement. "Heel" I got an up the nose 'who do you think you are?' look before he fell in with a roll of the eyes. I had put up with more than enough of that attitude from Jake, no way in hell this wolf was getting away with it. Once we were safely out of Jake's sight 'Pal' and I were going to have a little talk. 

About halfway down the block I set the wheelbarrow down and turned to face the wolf pup. 

"Sit"

Well, I couldn't complain about his obedience only about his attitude.

"You and I need to talk."

He canted his head to the side, then gave me a wary glance as he looked up and down the street. No one in sight but it gave me pause that he checked for witnesses. I was no deer but I tightened my grip on the stock of the rifle. He sighed wearily. 

"I know you've picked Jake as your master and you have brought in hundreds of pounds of game but you are living under my roof and you will show me the proper respect."

'Control freak much?' I did not just hear that.

"That look has to go" I grumbled.

'No wonder Jake rebelled on you. Did you ever consider therapy?'

No animal was going to sass me. I raised my hand and the little wolf followed the move with his eyes giving me a look that made me feel like something that crawled out from under a rock while he quietly waited, not making the slightest aggressive move but not dropping his eyes and accepting my dominance either. I grabbed the handles of the wheelbarrow feeling like a fool and an ass. And like I'd lost some sort of battle. With my sanity. My imagination was working overtime. 

The sight of Grey Anderson at the butcher's shop was enough to send a bad day straight into the latrine. Greens had been mayors of Jericho since the founding of the damn town. My Dad had handed the job on to me the same way, his father and grandfather had passed it down, the same way I had planned to hand it on to Eric. It had been over a hundred years since a Green had lost an election and to lose it now, to him. 

"Johnston" he nodded to me then looked past me at Pal.

"I'd shake your hand but" he began and then trailed off as Pal sat and offered him a paw.

I had a hard time not smirking as Grey gave the wolf his best ingratiating smile while clearly not even wanting to touch him as he stared at the gaping rents in the little bucks throats. He swallowed hard and wiped his hand on his pant leg. 

"Not very big" he commented.

'Everyone's a critic' the little wolf sighed 'when was the last time you made a contribution beyond 'management'?'

"He's put more meat into the pot in the last four days than the rest of the town combined have in three weeks." Grey grunted, not happy about the wolf in general and that a 'Green' was showing him up again. 

"What are the shovels for?"

"Pal brought some blue potatoes home last night. Jake claims that the kids used to dump produce Miss Hendricks gave them down along the creek. I'm hoping I can convince him to find a few more."

"You want a few of the refugees to help?"

'Afraid to get those lily white paws of your own dirty?' the wolf pup snipped.

I kept my face calm. It was nothing but my own overactive imagination "That would be fine. Why don't you come with us?"

"I don't think so. I need to head back to the office."

The wolf huffed scornfully.

I introduced myself to Peter, Roy, and James all of whom seemed very taken with Pal as he led the way down to the creek and instantly started digging just to the top of a potato and then moved on to start another hole. Blasted ground was frozen solid making it hard going even with Pal starting the holes for us. 

I wiped the sweat away before it could roll down into my eyes surprised to see that we had nearly filled the oversized contractor's wheelbarrow. Pal looked up at me, promptly sneezed a half dozen times then whined and threw himself down.

"I'm with him" one of the refugees (Roy?) said leaning on his shovel. "The rest can wait for later."

"Sissy" I quipped to the wolf. 

'Hey you didn't have to chase down a couple of deer and drag them back before all this. I'd like to see you dig a hundred pounds of potatoes after a running a marathon. Actually I'd like to see you chase down a deer.' The wolf seemed to find the idea amusing.

I watched the refugees push the wheelbarrow up the hill and then noticed that the damn wolf was gone again. 

"Pal" I snapped. No sign of that blasted wolf but I did hear a familiar voice prattling away in a language I didn't recognize. I scanned the street but there was no sign of the boy or the wolf. I looked up and sure enough the kid was on another rooftop. He snapped the cell phone shut as I walked over and tucked it into a case on the strap of a backpack I hadn't noticed last time.

There was a distinct frostiness to his gaze "Mr. Green."

"Get down."

"No, don't think so."

"That wasn't a request."

"Tart words make no friends; a spoonful of honey will catch more flies than a gallon of vinegar – Benjamin Franklin" he retorted. Kid certainly had an affinity for quotations.

"Don't make me come up there after you."

"No offense, but you aren't nearly as agile as I am and your daughter-in-law is overwhelm enough without having to treat you for multiple broken bones."

I was sorely tempted to climb up there and turn the cocky brat over my knee but three things stopped me, first he was probably right, second if he wasn't some magic spirit being then he was a little kid with no parents and a dead guardian all alone in this disaster under the circumstances acting out wasn't surprising, and third if he was a magic spirit, particularly if he was Bat Tu Quy then he was not something I wanted to piss off any more than I already had. He was not Bat Tu Quy, they did NOT exist. They were NOT real. 

"Please come down."

He sighed, thought about it, blue eyes wary as hell before shaking his head. The kid was scared, of me. No 'deathless demon' as Van Tran had described them would ever be afraid of a mere mortal. He hadn't been spooked before so what had changed?

"I trotted over to New Bern" he said gazing out across the town. No little boy should have been able to make that round trip so quickly on foot, but a wolf certainly could. "Phil Constantino is saying some rather unflattering things about you."

"And you believe him?" I challenged. I'd always hated gossip, it was one of the things that had always annoyed me to no end about Gracie.

"Not particularly. Your town is in danger and that bumbling fool they elected" he snorted shaking his head "democracy, by the people, for the people, pity the masses are asses" nobody that young should be that cynical "He will not be able to protect this place when New Bern decides its needs are greater than whatever remains of the better angels of their nature. I don't think it will take much longer since they are beginning to starve."

I hrumphed "We're starving."

Those blue eyes called me a fool. "What are you wearing around your waist?"

"A belt."

"A _**leather**_ belt" he corrected "Have you considered eating it yet? No, neither is anyone else in Jericho. More than one family in New Bern is. Jericho is hungry, not starving. Jericho _**wants**_, New Bern _**needs**_ and that is a dangerous situation when you have the advantage of men and weapons, and you don't…." he le the thought trail off 

I couldn't believe I was asking this "And what do you suggest?"

"Me? I'm not a warrior. Never have been, never will be. I can't help you with that."

"So you came here to help?'

"Why else?" he asked canting his head just like the wolf.

"Who were you talking to?"

"You."

"Who were you talking to on the phone?" the kid was worse than Jake.

"How could I possibly have a working cell phone when the EMP knocked out nearly everything with a circuit and the towers in this area were intentionally destroyed, as were most of the **civilian** communications satellites?" 

I was utterly confused. Nothing added up. No Bat Tu Quy would ever be afraid. No little boy could have gotten to New Bern and back on his own so quickly. And why would a spirit being of one of the most insular Indian, pardon me Native American, tribes look like a Nordic poster child and prattle away in something Eastern European sounding on a cell phone? And what the hell kind of accent did he have? When in doubt advance, it confused the enemy, except I wasn't certain the kid was the enemy. New Bern had received aid from Germany. Had the kid come on one of the drops?

"Where were you when the bombs went off?"

He blinked and swayed a little. I'd seen enough flashbacks to recognize one before he thinly answered "St. Louis".

Odd, St. Louis hadn't been marked as one of cities in Black Jack that had been hit but then there were plenty of ugly things that could happen in this world that had nothing to do the bombs. He'd said his guardian was dead. Poor kid. He hadn't been shivering in just that admittedly bulky turtle necked blue sweater until I'd opened my big mouth.

I made a quick circuit of the house wondering how the blazes he'd gotten up there since there was no ladder and nothing against the walls of the house. When I looked up again he was gone. That was beginning to get more than a little annoying.

**April**

I froze on the threshold. Someone was in the pharmacy. I drew a breath to yell for help when a young voice whispered "I would rather you didn't, Dr. Green, I swear to God on my mother's honor, I mean absolutely no harm and I'm not here to steal anything."

With only emergency power the pharmacy was dim but I could clearly make out blond ringlets.

"Paullus? I thought you didn't have a mother?"

"I don't, at least not that I know of, but that's a minor technicality. I don't happen to believe in God either" he shrugged "but I still mean absolutely no harm and I'm not here to steal anything."

"Good thing since there isn't enough left to take."

"Noticed that" he stepped into the brighter light of the hall. Johnston had mentioned the pouty lips and ringlets, what he hadn't mentioned was that the kid was fallen angel beautiful. In a few years he was going to be breaking hearts left, right, and center. And I had the nagging feeling that I had seen him before…somewhere. But where?

"What were you doing in there?"

"Inventory. Santa says you're on the nice list but you haven't sent him a letter yet this year. Terrible over sight on your part." Those blue eyes danced with pure merry mischief, nothing cruel or malicious, and it was extremely infectious. I could feel myself wanting to smile and I certainly didn't have the heart to tell him Santa wasn't real and that there would be no Christmas in Jericho this year. "By the way I found an ultrasound machine in the basement that survived the EMP and managed to scavenge enough intact parts to get two of the defibrillators and an EKG working again. The autoclave is touch and go, you won't be able to do anything fancy with the settings but it should work. I struck out with the hematology analyzer, sorry about that. I pretty sure I can get one of the infusers working again and maybe a centrifuge but it's going to take hours, they're all pretty fried. I haven't even looked at the rest yet. It's been a busy day." 

"Yeah right" I said skeptically but he just smiled at me eyes literally twinkling. 

"Trust me" I wanted to but my faith in everything had worn pretty thin. "April" he made my name something that was half a command so powerful that I couldn't even dream of looking away and half a gentle caress. Ageless eyes, just like Pal's "It isn't an ending you know, it's a rebirth with all the attendant…discomfort. The only real question is will those who destroyed the old world midwife the new one."

"What are you talking about?"

"Your world wasn't slaughtered by a throng of Islamic radicals. The same cabal within your government that was behind the bombs, also set off the EMP, and established a blockade to thwart foreign aid. The Federal Government, though admittedly hamstrung, was functioning up until the EMP. Didn't you find it odd that just as a statement was about to be made that someone shut out the lights? These people want you desperate, demoralized, ignorant, and scared witless so that they can swoop in and you will be sufficiently confused and grateful to let them have carte blanch." He canted his head Pal-like "Will you let them win?"

"I don't see how I can stop them." God knows I don't need anymore responsibility and the kid needed a psychiatric help. 

"History has a habit of remembering the big things, the wars, the battles, the treaties, the kings, emperors, presidents, and princes. Now my tutor would argue till the cows have gone to dust that no man however great or humble has ever or will ever 'make' history that you are all just pawns in the hands of Fate. One of the few things we utterly disagree on since I'm just as firmly of the opinion every single one of us matters and that often the moments that change the course of nations occur in dark corners between the forgotten. But that isn't what I meant. They say that when Pandora opened the box and let all the woes loose that she slammed it shut and trapped hope but that isn't true. She could have left the box open. Hope is like a bad penny, you don't get rid of it easily. You hell be damn sure don't 'lose' it like a sock in the dryer. Despair takes work, so, again, are **you** going to keep rolling over for them? Are you really going to yield so easily? "

"Easily!" I snapped angry tears prickling behind my eyes. Kenchy was the one that should be on the receiving end of this.

"You do realize that you are better supplied and staffed right now than one quarter of the world's clinics were on the day _**before**_ the bombs? Yes, people who could have been saved before the bombs have and will continue to die and you aren't going to be able to save them all. It's frustrating and maddening and tragic but this isn't a sprint or some crisis that is going to resolve itself next week. This is a marathon and if you don't start pacing yourself you are going to" he paused and nibbled his lower lip for the first time looking childlike. 

"Going to what?"

He shook his head "I might be wrong. You should avail yourself of the ultrasound at the earliest opportunity."

My hands flew to my stomach even as my mind scoffed at the fact that this CHILD could possibly have any idea what he was talking about but I still gasped "Wrong about what?"

"Placenta previa" he said softly as my heart skipped a beat "It does frequently resolve itself but you need to be careful. If you overextend and go into preterm labor before the placenta migrates away from the cervix the results could be deadly." 

"I know what it is and I know the risks" I snapped at him.

"I was checking for ritodrine, Nifedipine 3 or Indomethacin 4 but you don't have any. I put them on Santa's list. And stop selling yourself short, you might never be a 'top-flight' surgeon but you're three times the doctor that twit you were with Vegas will ever be."

Of course, the kid that had Veronica so annoyed at the conference.

"April, honey, we need you out here" I turned toward Gail's voice and when I looked back the boy was gone.

Gail hadn't stopped talking about the baby since we left. The baby looked fine but Paullus was right. I had complete placenta previa. It might be fine, it might kill me. Thank God Gail hadn't noticed or she would hover. If it hadn't been for the repaired machines I would thought the boy was a figment of my imagination. I wondered if Veronica was still alive. She'd been doing a fellowship in Baltimore on The Day. I tried to not imagine what radiation sickness would have done to her if she had survived the initial blast. 

"You check on Jake while I start dinner" Gail bustled off and I felt vaguely guilty for not following her into the kitchen. Jake looked like he was beginning to go stir crazy.

"No Pal?" I asked listening to his breathing which sounded much better than yesterday.

"No, he went hunting before dawn, then went out digging potatoes with Dad but Dad got back hours ago."

I looked up at Johnston and nodded to the envelope from Veronica that had arrived at the clinic on The Day that I had never gotten around to opening "Paullus stopped by the Clinic today but I think I've seen him before would you mind leafing through the photos Veronica sent and tell me if you see him."

"Veronica?" Jake asked.

"My old roommate in medical school. She specialized in surgery. Back in May she called me out of the blue and invited me to go to a conference with her in Vegas. I tried to get Eric to go but he said he had too much to do here" I couldn't keep the bitterness out on that one. I'm certain he that Mary Bailey had a great laugh at my expense. Probably spent the entire time rolling around in MY bed. I was glad it had burned. Veronica and I had never precisely been friends because Veronica didn't have friends, she had resources. She was smarter, prettier, and more talented than I was and we were roommates for months without her saying more than good morning. Then she discovered I excelled at one of the few things in which she was completely incompetent, patient interaction just when she slammed up against an instructor who absolutely would **NOT** let her slide under any circumstances, who didn't care that she was on track to be a brilliant surgeon, and without his class she couldn't graduate. She had to make it through the class or transfer. For being the most arrogant, self-centered person I have ever met she could grovel surprisingly well. Calling myself several kinds of fool I'd caved and helped her. She'd promised at the time to make it up to me but once she'd scraped through (and ruined her lifetime perfect 4.0) she'd promptly gone back to ignoring me. I knew when she called that she'd though of some way I could be useful but a free trip to Vegas was still a free trip to Vegas.

"There he is" Johnson's eyes and voice were awfully hard for such a little boy. Gail had wandered in while I was off strolling down memory lane and chipped in "Cute kid."

Jake started to rise but his dad passed him what must be a second shot with Paullus in it since he kept the first one clenching it so hard that he was putting permanent creases in it. Why was he so bent out shape about the boy?

"Who are these other people with him?"

They had, or rather Dr. Grace Chandle and Dr. Peter Giacus had been the proverbial other shoe. Veronica had wanted to work with Dr. Giacus, who was arguably the finest surgeon on the planet, with an ardency that was well past obsession. Problem was she wasn't in his league and apparently he was every inch as arrogant as she was. 

"Dr. Gregor Powers, considered the EU's top epidemiologist, the CDC wants, wanted, him, badly" and he could park his shoes under my bed anytime. If I hadn't been married I'd have made a play now I was sorry I hadn't. Or not, I would have been ashamed of myself later. Just because Eric wanted to break his vows didn't give me an excuse to trash mine. "Dr. Benjamin Adamson, top researcher in something I can't even follow but I think has to do with aging. He's British." He had given me more than just a second glance. Beautiful voice and fascinating eyes but his nose needed its own zip code. "Dr. Du Cha Han, Taiwanese, very big in genetics and cloning. Dr. Grace Chandle one of the top ethno-botanists and pharmacists in the world, French, and Dr. Peter Giacus arguably the world's most innovative and skilled cardio-thoracic surgeon from South Africa."

"Were there any American doctors at this thing?"

"Just me. It was essentially a none too subtle attempt to recruit some of the best and brightest to our hospitals and universities. Dr. Giacus was Veronica's assignment she thought I would be perfect to talk to Dr. Chandle."

Dr. Chandle had known exactly what was up and had been the highlight of the trip with her gentle wisdom and quiet humor. Veronica hadn't fared half so well with Dr. Giacus. "Grace was wonderful, Dr. Giacus didn't appreciate Veronica's, well Veronica's anything."

Jake had rescued the rest of the pack from Johnston and paused in his leafing through "That's Kenchy!"

I hadn't thought it was possible for me to be more disappointed in him "Then once upon a time he was one of the best. It was invitation only" I snarled bitterly. 

"So what was **he** doing there?" Johnston said still staring at the photo.

"I don't know but I know he made a fool of Veronica. She was under the impression that he was Dr. Giacus' protégé and tried to get to him by buttering up the boy. Whatever else he is he fixed several of the machines at the Medical Center that no one else has been able to make any progress with."

"Whatever else?" Johnston's head snapped up so fast I was surprised he didn't give himself whiplash "what makes you say that?"

"Oh, Grace talked about Dr. Paullus a few times but that must have been his father. It couldn't have been him. He can't be more than ten, if that."

"What did he talk to you about?"

I didn't care for Johnston's tone at all but answered anyway "It was part pep talk, part exasperated chiding, part warning. He claimed I was on Santa's 'good list' and that he was taking inventory of what we needed which is bizarre since I was just complaining to Pal about the lack of supplies."

What color Johnston had drained out of his face but he said nothing. 

"But the real stunner was his claim that it was our own government that did this." Jake and Gail both looked shocked then skeptical while Johnston just fumed a fact which was not lost on either of them.

"He'd already mentioned it to you and you didn't say a word" Gail observed while Jake chose discretion as the better part of valor. I never would have thought he was capable of it. 

"What that a nine year old was spouting conspiracy theories?" he scoffed, "a working cell phone doesn't make him an authority on anything."

"He has a working cell phone?" Jake piped up.

"I think so. I think that's why he keeps perching on roof tops. He was prattling away in some foreign language. For all we know he IS, an admittedly pint sized, terrorist. Or, more likely, as nuts as Oliver. Either way I'm taking everything he says with a sack of salt."

"But what is he doing all by himself?" Gail asked "he's too little to be out on his own."

"We don't **know** that he is" Johnston grumbled under his breath but Gail ignored him.

"You said he was with the South African doctor?"

I shrugged "Veronica thought so but the only times I saw them together was with the rest of the group, and they were very much their own little clique. He could have been with any of them."

"But if all of them were international, what is he doing in the States now?"

"He claims he was in St. Louis on the day of the bombs" Johnston offered and it was Jake's turn to withdraw a little. Odd, he'd told us he had just come from the coast. Of course he'd told so many different stories who knew what was true. Gail bustled off to the kitchen as a strained silence blanketed the room. You could taste both men wanting to ask something of the other and each either too wary or too stubborn to actually do it. Just as I was going to say something, anything, Gail stormed back in with dinner on a tray and a demanding "What do you plan on doing about that poor little boy?"

Both men swallowed and looked at each other and I hid a smirk behind my hand. 

"Can we have the pictures with him in them?" Jake asked.

"Certainly" I said "I doubt that Veronica took anything that I'd want anyway."

Jake smirked "I don't know you look pretty happy in this one."

I had to smile at the shot of Grace and I laughing. I would happily give everything I had or would ever own to have her as a second doctor at the clinic. 

"He might know where she is" Jake offered clearly trying to raise my spirits.

"I'm sure she's in Paris. If there is a Paris."

"I'm sure there's still a Paris" Gail said attempting to be comforting "there'll always be Paris."

I'd wanted a Paris honeymoon but Eric hadn't. I could feel the tears building if precious food we couldn't afford to waste hadn't been sitting in front me I would have dumped the tray to flee the room but instead I stayed and tried not to cry. Damn hormones.

**Jake**

A growl that rattled my bones woke me. I had been awake long into the night wondering what had become of my wolf. It was weird how as a kid I'd always known where my dogs were. I'd known the instant Sam was shot, when Rex was hit but Pal was different. Sometimes it was as if he was speaking to me and sometimes he was just…gone. Not dead the way my other dogs were but incommunicado just the same. He'd suddenly appeared in the wee hours of the morning and managed unlock the deadbolt before I could make it to the door which was damn spooky. I had been going to lecture him about staying out until all hours doing God knows what but two things had stopped me. First being his utter exhaustion. He'd been asleep before his hindquarters were even up on the couch and second it was entirely too damn surreal to be parroting on of my parents favorite lectures at a wolf pup.

Pal pressed so close that I was in danger of being shoved off the couch as he burrowed his head under the pillow still growling. I caught the glass of water Mom had left before it could tumble off the table as I realized it wasn't Pal's growling that was rattling me but something I'd hoped to never feel again, the rumble of an approaching tank.

I had been surprised given how terrified he was that Pal had insisted on coming with me instead of continuing to hide under the blankets. I had considered locking him up in the house but he would undoubtedly just escape and follow and who knew what kind of trouble he might land in. He slunk along beside me tail tucked tight against his belly, ears flat. I half expected his nerve to break any second.

"Hey" I said tangling my fingers in his coat "It'll be ok."

Those way too human blue eyes glanced at me in disbelief and his chuff stopped just short of mocking.

"Do you really think so?" Mom asked as we met on the corner. I shrugged trying not to catch Pal's pessimistic mood as we walked into the crowd. I left Mom with Dad and made my way over to Stanley as the spokesman of the group said

"Now that we've won the war it's time to start rebuilding."

"What war?" Anderson broke in asking the question we all wanted answered.

"You didn't hear?"

"We lost all communications after the EMP" from Eric in that slightly whining tone he got at the least suggestion that he wasn't perfect.

'Just as you were meant to' came crystal clear from Pal sitting at my feet.

"Well, we nuked the hell out of North Korea and Iran." 

He shivered and leaned against me. I got a flicker of images all of them uglier than anything I'd ever seen before 'How did he get the codes and why? Matt told us both what really happened when he stopped the New York bomb before…' the thought trailed off on the image of a dark haired man lying pale and still neither dead nor alive. Fretful worry, 'Come back to us Sir Matthew, you can't go and let chivalry die. Why 'Marchio? What are you **doing**?' the pup sounded disappointed, despondent, vaguely betrayed, and ready to cry. I reached down and rubbed his ears.

"From what I hear which isn't much Iran financed it and North Korea supplied the bombs."

'Lies' Pal growled at my feet, the anger rolling off of him 'lies that have slaughtered nearly 88 million.'

"We've got troops all over the world going after the terrorists"

'Brewing wars based on more lies' the wolf snarled. I shook my head and noticed the Dad was staring in our direction.

"who snuck them in, but at least we took out the big dogs."

'No someone murdered even more people. No one 'snuck' them in. You bought them yourselves from the USSR' 

"What happens now?" Eric asked. And oddly for an instant I found myself more interested in Pal's response than the marine's. I needed a shrink I thought as I was disappointed that Pal seemed more interested in mourning for the dead than making suggestions for the living.

"Largest reconstruction effort in the history of the country."

"So there's finally somebody in charge?" Gray asked. 

'Depends on how you look at things' was Pal's observation.

"Former secretary of the HHS is now the president."

Pal let out a confused little whine and cocked his head 'Only east of the Mississippi and only provisionally in conjunction with the UN.'

'We heard there were six guys from six different capitals claiming to be president" I said listening both to the marine and to Pal.

'Down to two, and Texas is refusing to take sides' came from my feet.

"Resolved" Pal's fear was long since replaced by rising anger and I snaked my fingers through his collar as his hackles rose "Federal government is reunifying in Columbus, Ohio."

As the rest of the town broke out in celebration Pal threw himself down with a disgusted 'fools'.

I picked my way over to Dad who ever so subtly shied away from Pal. I needed a way to ingratiate myself with the marines to find out what was really going on. I could feel a grin tugging at my battered lips. Sometimes Lady Luck is kind to me. Lance Corporal Mullin was very easy on the eyes. Pal gave a long suffering sigh and trailed silently behind us. 

Maggie kept glancing down as we flirted and ripped Oliver's old radio apart. 

"So what's his name?"

"Oh I guess I haven't introduced you Pal, this is Lance Corporal Mullins."

'If she's a corporal I'm Scipio Africanus' the wolf scoffed eyes colder and harder than I would have thought possible. Unlike every other occasion he made no move to rise.

"Pal, be polite and shake on it."

He gave me a disdainful glance, rose gracefully and gave her an almost courtly bow before regally offering his paw with an air of offended dignity. As she took it he gave her a glance that said she had been weighed, measured, and found wanting. She half flinched under it cheeks reddening.

"I don't think he likes me."

'All this and brains too' was the snarky thought I got from Pal.

"Sometimes it takes him awhile to warm up to people. So, the marines?" I asked keeping it light and flirty but even without Pal's grumbling something felt…off about Maggie. So far the only thing he'd agreed with was her take on Lawrence. 

"Is it everything you hoped for?"

"There are moments. When I signed up, I never thought I'd be fighting Americans. Good people forced to do bad things."

'Is that how you justify yourself?' My subconscious must have been working overtime because no one with his hind foot stuck in his ear should sound that self-righteous.

"That's got to be rough. I'm sorry."

"It's not your problem."

I studied her, wondering what she would taste like.

"What?"

In an effort not to sound half as horny as I felt I cast about for something half way intelligent "Just..ah..wondering why someone like you would join the marines."

'I'd bet my favorite châteaux on the Loire that she's never set foot in a barracks' Pal quipped while trying to get a bur out of his fur 'besides all the REAL marines are either on the opposite side of the Blue Line or down in Texas. Nothing but Ravenwood and Allied States of America troops up here.'

I started to lean down to give him a hand but that would mean taking my eyes off Maggie. Heather was sweet, too sweet, too good for me I'd only get her hurt and Emily had Roger. Any girl tough enough to survive a few months in the marines could handle anything I could dish out.

"I had an office job"

Pal sniffed 'Do you ever stop lying? Smells like a grad student to me.'

"until a few years ago, but I got bored."

Pal's running commentary notwithstanding she seemed to know what she was doing with the radio. Besides what was I doing listening to a puppy's opinion anyway?

"I wanted to see the world."

"Have you?" I needed to know what was out there.

"I've seen Omaha."

'By Jove! An honest statement! It's a miracle.'

I was beginning to get annoyed, usually dogs ignored anything but their name in the conversations around them and understood little else. This was the first time Pal had been this…well vocal wasn't the right term, maybe opinionated? He had taken an instant and deep dislike to the marines in general and Maggie in particular and hadn't let a single statement stand without comment.

"You?"

She startled me out of watching Pal who never took his eyes off her even as he groomed himself.

"What, seen the world? Yeah." I could see that little girl even with my eyes open "Yeah, I just saw all the wrong places."

Pal whined, focusing on me for the first time since this morning. He leaned against my leg and enveloped me in that soft comfortable companionship only a dog can offer.

"Man, you have got this brooding bad-boy thing down to an art."

Pal snarled at her and she flinched. "No offense, but dogs don't like me and the feeling is pretty much mutual. Is there…" she let the thought trail off.

Pal licked my fingers and gave me the most heart melting puppy dog eyes I'd ever seen but dogs are forgiving, women aren't, at least not at this stage.

"Come on Pal, I know the perfect place for you." If he managed to get out of the town jail I would be officially spooked instead just generally a little weirded out by how much smarter Pal was than a normal dog. "Sorry, buddy, in a few months when you're a little more mature you'll understand."

A laser beam blue glare and a sour 'I understand perfectly well now. You could at least have better taste' before his attention turned to considering how to best disrupt the nefarious faux marines plans. I actually stopped in the hall. 'Nefarious faux marines'!

As a kid I had quickly learned to NOT mention the fact I could pick up things from animals. I had also long ago convinced myself I wasn't crazy, well at least not in the hearing voices sense and God knows I would never have dreamed up the phrase nefarious faux marines but from what Dad and April said I was willing to bet that Paullus would. If I had had any doubts that the boy and the pup were somehow linked they had just been eliminated. Bizarre kid to teach his wolf to play checkers. I couldn't imagine doing the same with any dog I had ever owned. I was more than a little disappointed that I wouldn't be keeping Pal but I couldn't take some little orphan's pet. Regardless I couldn't leave him roaming to stir up trouble so I slipped a hand through his collar and he instantly cringed. 

"Sorry" but I didn't let go, I didn't want him bolting since I suspected he was smart enough to know what the cell was. I got raw indignation and sullen anger in response. 'Hormones, put a HALF-way attractive women in the mix and every scrap of good sense vanishes.' He saw the cell and froze. 

"Come on Pal."

He whined 'please don't' and I felt like a grade A jerk. "That wasn't a request." I sighed "I don't want you getting yourself shot."

He went as limp as a professional non-violent protester and I had to pick him up and put him in. 

'I'm telling Santa to take you OFF the good list' he grumbled.

Angry at myself for being a good bit lower than a dirty dog I unthinkingly snapped "There's no such thing as Santa."

The effect was immediate and electric. He yipped in terror and scuttled into the far corner of the cell. I could have said it was the tone of my voice he was reacting to but I knew that he had made the connection between his thought and my response. Chris had been a huge B5 fan which had led to discussions of what would you do if you met a real telepath. I had my answer for Pal. I wasted a few minutes trying to cajole him to come to me but the longer I talked the more frightened he was. I tapped my fingers on the bars debating if I should just let him loose or try again later after he'd had a chance to calm down. If I let him go now I was never going to see him again. I pocketed the keys and hurried back before Maggie thought I'd lost interest.

I watched Maggie's ass as I held the door to Gracie's. It had been entirely too long. Iraq hadn't provided many opportunities, I had had other things on my mind when I got back and the truth was the hope that things would somehow magically work out with Em had kept me from pursuing anything serious. Em might have Roger but she had made it abundantly clear that she wasn't going to tolerate me dating Heather. Oh, she hadn't come out and said it but I knew it the same way she always knew when I was lying. If they hadn't been friends I'd have gone for it but they were and it wasn't fair to put Heather in middle of our…whatever we had. 

"You should think about coming back when you get out." I wasn't certain why I was pushing so hard.

"And what would I do here?"

"That's a question we're all asking ourselves" when there's a minute to breath between disasters. What was I doing encouraging her to stay when there were moments I wasn't even certain of my own welcome "but you're a good fit." Probably a better fit than I was. 

"You know, before all this started, I might have agreed with you" something in her tone yanked my attention off certain attributes "But…ah…I won't make it back here." 

I thought I'd lost her before she came in for a kiss only to back away at the last second. I waited a beat and then gambling that she wouldn't protest if I claimed a little payment on a full day's worth of flirting I moved in slowly giving her time to back off. Her breath tickled my lip teasingly, a kiss to start and then well a guy could hope. tMy balls relocated to my shoulder as someone barked

"Corporal Mullin!"

My hand balled into a fist but since decking her commanding officer wasn't precisely wise (and people think I ALWAYS do the first thing that pops into y head) I pulled up my hood instead. 

"Why is your gear not loaded?"

"I…ah…" Someone should be filming this. I found myself looking for the candid camera crew. What I wouldn't give for this whole mess to be some giant joke.

"Don't answer that. We're heading over to town hall. The mayor wants to express his appreciation. Somebody needs to stay here. You just drew the short straw."

He sounded just like my Dad. How many times had I been grounded while the rest of the family was at town hall? Tradition. Some things just never change. 

"Aye Gunny."

Then she looked at me and giggled and it was funny or would be someday, here we were both over thirty and busted like a couple of wayward teens. Since Gunny had ruined the moment "I'm gonna to get the last of the supplies from the sheriff's office."

The instant when the truth of what Pal had been trying to say washed over me vied with being run off the road for fifth worst moment of my life and considering that one was the mushroom cloud, two was shooting a little girl, and three was seeing the friend you refused to help dead (twice) there was some stiff competition. I had sent Stanly to confirm it, gone to Dad hoping he had an explanation, excuse, denial, anything. I had needed them to be Marines. Needed there to be some part of the US government still functional because otherwise we were in the hands of Ravenwood and its parent Jennings and Rall. And after being run off the road and left for dead I had needed to believe that there was still some decency in the world. Needed it so badly I'd locked Pal up rather than accept that he was right. I felt my anger at Maggie flare and ignoring the tank I stormed back to Gracie's.

"How was Dodge City picking up our fireworks?"

"We pick up pops and pings all the time."

I wanted to shake her, not hit, her not hurt, her just shake some sense into her but contrary to popular belief I have a fairly good hold on my temper.

"Don't. Don't lie to me."

"Hello" STANLEY! "Anyone out there."

We both dove for the radio but despite my injuries I was stronger or maybe she didn't want to hurt me any more than I wanted to hurt her.

"Stanley, is that you?" The question was for her sake, I knew exactly who was on the other end.

"We found this guy camping out here with this radio. Says he's with the Marines. I'm gonna bring him back."

Now we would try again "Is any of this real?"

"The gun's real."

That hurt worse than what happened with the truck. Yes, they had run us off the road and left us to die but they hadn't spent all day flirting. Dad had said the next few months would be a battle more for our souls than for our survival and he had been so very right. 

"I'm sorry."

Oddly enough I wasn't scared, I wasn't even precisely angry anymore all I was was tired and disappointed "You con people out of stale food and enough fuel to get to the next town?"

"You don't know how bad it is out there."

"Yeah I do." From here, Iraq, and Afghanistan, and believe me I had seen a whole lot worse but this was HOME.

And now for the question I'd wanted answered from the instant I'd realized the truth "How'd you get all this?"

"There was a food riot in our refugee camp. Dozen marines never had a chance against 10,000 starving people."

I felt my heart sink. She hadn't seemed like a killer. If my judgment was that far off maybe it was time to become a monk assuming I survived this. 

"So you killed them?" Please, please say no.

She shook her head "They retreated and we took what they left." One tiny piece of my faith in humanity and myself restored, no need for drastic vows.

"Tried to get some food in the next town. Worked so well we kept doing it." I took a step toward her "Don't."

"You're not leaving town with our supplies." No way in hell.

"Don't get yourself killed doing something stupid, Jake. I don't want that on my conscience."

I'd known enough killers to tell when I shone the flashlight in her eyes that she wasn't, at least not now, not over this, Mother Theresa will kill if pushed into the right corner but this wasn't Maggie's…..

**Eric**

Stanley and his new toy had long since rumbled off and Dad had vanished into the night but Jake didn't seem to be doing so well in the soldering on department. I closed my eyes and the sight of him still on the stretcher was overlain with one of him on Gracie's floor. One body on that floor was enough for a lifetime, more than enough. Was it really less than year ago that I'd been chaffing to get out of town with Mary and actually step out of the _extremely _long shadow of the Green family? Except I hadn't had the…what the hell, the balls, to do it. I hadn't even had the guts to tell April the truth without a kick from Jake. Who finally stopped staring after Maggie.

"What?" he asked sounding half defensive half defeated. Defensive I was used to defeated wasn't supposed to be in Jake's vocabulary.

"She seems like the type that lands on her feet" I offered.

A grimace that even after a childhood under the same roof if not precisely together I couldn't interpret. 

"They hit you pretty hard" I said "do you need go to the Center?"

He started to shake his head and winced a rather unconvincing "No."

If he hadn't been living with town's only doctor I'd have taken him regardless of his opinion of the matter. I snickered.

"What's so funny" I shook my head. Jake would have to be half dead for me to make him do anything.

"You heading home?"

"In a minute" he said before heavily limping toward the sheriff's office. I glanced towards Mary's wanting to go home myself before following him. 

"Don't trust me to go on my own?" there was a thread of resentment in it.

"Of course I do. I'm just looking to make brownie points with Mom since I need all I can get right now."

"Some things never change" he said in a strange, almost grateful tone. Confused and worried I followed him into the dark office, watching as he lit a lantern and hobbled down to the cell. He sighed shoulders slumping when he saw the gapping door. 

"What's wrong?" sometimes getting Jake to talk was like pulling teeth and I was way too tired for it tonight but Jake wasn't in one of his infamous sullenly silent moods.

"He tried to tell me but I wouldn't listen."

On the other hand he wasn't making much sense either and something knotted in my gut. 

"I wanted them to be real so badly" he slammed the cell door closed and threw the keys at the holder with sufficient force that they rebounded off the hook and into the empty trash can.

"I'm an _**idiot**_" he snarled at the darkness in general. I made absolutely no argument. As far as I was concerned it was long past time that Jake figured that out. God knows I'd tried to impress that truth on him often enough when we were kids though I was curious how an empty jail cell finally got through his thick skull what twenty odd years of telling him hadn't managed.

"What happened?" I asked being more diplomatic than I had ever been before he left which was apparently surprising enough to earn me a wary glance.

He shrugged "I locked Pal in the cell because he kept trying to warn me about Maggie and I didn't want to listen" he fished the keys out of the can and put them gently back where they belonged "and now he's gone." He yanked his hood down "How the hell did he get the door open when I had both of the keys?"

After reading through the letter and notes that had been meant for Jake I could sort of answer that, provided I was willing to accept my great-great-grandmother's beliefs and prophecies though it was admittedly tough even in the face of her unnerving accuracy about the bombs. Easier by far to say strange coincidence than to say that my parents, brother, estranged wife, and unborn child were living with what amounted to a centuries old, undead, pint-sized, werewolf that couldn't care less about silly things like silver bullets and full moons. 

I settled for "Weird" as a reply and then couldn't resist "maybe someone followed in your footsteps and made a spare set we don't know about." Neither of us believed it. "You don't know he's gone. He might be waiting for you at home."

"He's gone" Jake said in that tone that brooked no arguments. Even after a lifetime of trying to copy it from Dad and Grandfather I couldn't manage it. When I tried people just laughed at me. 

"Unless he's coming back it's late and you look like shit."

Jake chuckled softly.

"What?"

"You, you just can't cuss" even in the lantern light the smile didn't make it to his eyes.

"Home" I did my best to mimic that tone that every other Green male seemed to have mastered and Jake leaned on me as we hobbled home, but I could tell he was laughing. Some things never change. I didn't know if I should hope that Jake was right about Paullus being or pray he was wrong because according to the prophecies this was just the beginning and the little werewolf needed Jake just as much as Jake needed him. The little wolf had seemed nice enough and I wouldn't wish his future if Jake failed him on my worst enemy. 

22

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	6. Rivers

X-Factor: Chapter 6: Rivers

**Author's notes: THANK YOU TO ALL MY REVIEWERS!!** Sorry this is a bit later than planned. I wrote the second half of the chapter while on vacation in Guatemala and then lost my notebook. I do hope this is intelligible and that you enjoy. Everyone you recognize from Jericho, Ahriman, Methos, and Matthew are not mine.

**X-Factor: Chapter 6: Rivers**

**Eric**

I kept a close watch on Jake out of the corner of my eye. He was sullen this morning despite the thaw we were enjoying and experience had taught me that sullen Jake was generally a Jake planning something spectacularly stupid. That he was still sullen on horseback was unprecedented. I'd always had the impression that riding was as close to Zen as Jake got. He might love flying but it wound him up, riding always calmed him down and brightened his entire outlook on the universe except today.

The letter and talisman were dragging my inner coat pocket down as if they were made of something far heavier than lead. If Dad realized I'd taken them to give to Jake, I shivered blaming it on the cold. Except Jake had a right to know, it didn't matter if I believed it or not. So much of both our lives made more sense when you added Dad's fear and Grandfather's belief into the equation. Like Grandfather's insistence that I learn to ride and hunt neither of which I had the slightest interest in. Jake had already carved them out as things he excelled in. By the time I was old enough for guns and horses I'd given up on trying to best Jake on his own ground. Jake was rapidly becoming the 'problem child' and I was on a mission to be the 'good boy'. I had none of Jake's knack with animals and no desire to prove it but Grandfather had been adamant. Insisting that I would thank him on the day when I couldn't drive. I'd scoffed until Dad had pointed out that there were plenty of places where a horse was better than truck. When I'd heard about Gray accusing Dad of murder when Mr. Remy died I had been ready to pound him with a baseball bat. Now, I wasn't so certain Dad wasn't guilty. We should have been better prepared. Grandfather had kept the shelters meticulously stocked and the info up to date. Granted Dad had had the town hall shelter in good shape but he'd let everything else slide. How many things could have been done differently?

A shove that almost took me out of the saddle yanked my attention back to the here and now. Jake had urged Fire ahead before I could return the favor. "This isn't a pleasure ride" he snarled "pay attention."

"He might come back" I said without much conviction to his back. He shouldn't even be using that ankle but the only person I'd ever met with a prayer of out stubborning Jake was Dad and he had been all for getting him back in the saddle.

"No, he won't" Jake retorted with the Green authority that I just didn't have. It would be nice to believe that it was an offshoot of the family 'magic' but Grandfather hadn't been able to 'hear' animals anymore than I could and he'd had it in spades. I started to reach into my jacket to give Jake what was left of the bag and the coded letter that went with it but my nerve failed, again. Mom and April were already furious with me I didn't have the guts to rile Dad up too. Besides maybe it was for the best.

Yeah, right. It certainly wasn't for the best for the undead werewolf, probably wasn't for the best for Jake either. I'd been carrying it around for two days since Pal had vanished and just couldn't seem to gather the courage to do it. I was a damn coward.

Jake suddenly hauled Fire up and around.

"What?" I asked yanking my shotgun free. Jake had a nose for trouble that would put the best bloodhound to shame but instead of pulling a gun he pulled his walkie-talkie.

"Bill you guys have your ears on?" We were preciously hoarding the few working walkie-talkies and their batteries so even on patrol the talkies weren't always on.

"Something moving?" Bill's voice in reply.

"What's up?" Stanley's in the background. He wasn't supposed to be back out on patrol anymore than Jake.

"Have the auxiliary mounted patrol meet me on the river bank near the Millers. And come at a gallop."

"Why?"

"Trouble" Jake retorted as he kicked the gelding into a flat out run. I gave Chief a quick kick but the big bay I was riding today didn't have a prayer of keeping up with the quick Thoroughbred / Quarter horse cross.

**Jake**

Eric had that look. The 'I've done something I shouldn't and I need to confess but someone is going to be pissed at me' look. God, I was not in the mood to deal with one of Eric's confessions, assuming that he ever gathered the nerve to say something given his phobia of making anyone mad. I considered just point blank asking him since as April had put it sometimes Eric needed a good swift kick in the ass to get him moving.

I drew a deep breath trying to find the calm alertness that being on a horse always gave me but I just could not shake the nagging sense that I had SERIOUSLY screwed up somehow. I'd lost dogs and horses I'd had for **years** and while it had hurt it had never felt as WRONG as Pal being gone. Mom hadn't wanted me back out and she would be having fits if she knew I was on a horse instead of planted at a checkpoint but Dad had practically pushed me out the door and onto Fire. Granted I'd been a bit snarly but…I noticed that Eric was paying even less attention than I was so I gave him a shove to rattle us both back to reality. The first words out of his mouth rubbed salt in the wound. Was it that obvious?

"No, he won't" I snapped rapping Fire hard enough that he grunted.

Feeling like a heel I started to pull up to apologize to both my brother and my horse when a wash of icy cold more brutal than being trapped under the truck washed over me, the sound of a boy yelling, a desperate snap that yielded only a mouthful of frigid water and trailing hair, swirling muddy water. Pal! I snatched at my handheld transceiver. The flash had vanished as quickly as it had come. I'd convinced myself that he'd left town but that crystal clear moment of contact had been SENT as a plea in hopes that I would hear as a desperate call for help. Something ugly had happened at the river involving Pal and kids.

I gritted my teeth. Fire was the fastest horse I had ever ridden but a jackhammer would probably give a smoother ride. My ankle would just have to get over it. We cleared a fence and I whited out for a second before a familiar voice calling "Mr. Jake, Mr. Jake, you gotta save 'em." pulled me back

I had a moment of serious déjà vu when my little friend Lucas from The Day a lot thinner, a little more threadbare, and even more desperate blinked up at me.

"What happened?" I demanded wondering how long it would take backup to arrive.

"We were ice fishing" What had they been thinking? A week ago everyone had been out but the river had been frozen solid then. The day after the faux marines had left we'd had heavy snow followed by a warm front and rain. The ice would have been pockmarked with weak points and the river raging beneath.

"How many?" I demanded.

"Just me and Julie. Your wolf was barking and barking so I went to see what he wanted but she had a fish on the line. Just as I got to the wolf the ice broke. Your wolf went in after her. You gotta save them."

"You stay here. Eric and Bill are on their way." I grabbed the transceiver "Stanley, are you out there?"

"Yeah, what the hell is going on Jake?"

"Couple of kids were ice fishing."

"How many in the water?" And people think Stanley's stupid.

"Just one, Julie. Pal went in after her. Get something we can put a stretcher in out to the bridge."

"You got it."

I whirled Fire and kicked him into a gallop while reaching. I brushed against Chief. Eric had nearly caught up but I wasn't getting anything from Pal. If he had been a regular dog that would have been a very bad sign but he came and went so much I didn't know what to think. Eric bellowed at me to wait. I hesitated, two sets of eyes were better than one.

He pulled up "What happened?"

"The kids were ice fishing. Pal got one off the ice before it collapsed then he went in after Julie."

"Are you picking up anything?"

Eric had given me no end of grief about my 'supposed' ability. Now he was treating it as if he believed it was real. I glared at him and he drew a deep breath. Julie didn't have TIME for this. I turned Fire but Eric blocked me with the sturdier Chief as he held out a few tattered scraps of ancient looking leather, feathers, and beads.

"Take it, it'll help."

I gave him a dubious glance but snatched it, anything to get us…._I couldn't breathe, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't breath, and the icy water was rapidly leeching my strength. I scrabbled desperately at the ice as the current flung us back to the surface. My lungs were burning, crying for air, spots dancing before my eyes, vision darkening. I started to shake my head without thinking until the taste of blood in my mouth reminded me of how I'd gotten into this in the first place. Little fools, where the hell were their parents? Can't breathe, can't breathe. The river rolled me again slamming us both against the bottom. I kicked off angling toward the shore hoping if I could get into the shallows I would at least have better leverage. I took a couple of desperate gasps getting a paw through the hole trying to get the girl up into the air but the river denied me the opportunity. What had I done (recently) to offend Neptune and Volturnus? I sent a plea to both along with Statilinus_….

"Jake! Jake!" Eric was shaking me while both horses snorted nervously.

"I'm ok" I was feeling everything Pal was as he was tossed like a leaf in a tornado under the river but** I** was ok. They were even further downstream than I would have thought. I lashed Fire leaving Eric to eat my dust for a second time as the river spun poor Pal like a cork.

Fire easily leapt a second fence as we raced along the river. Pal had gotten a nose up through the ice twice more but the glimpses of sky didn't tell me if I was catching up or falling behind. I actually yelped as Pal's side slammed into something mercilessly solid. He spun round losing his grip on Julie's arm as ribs shattered.

"Get her!" I shouted. Fire flicked his ears back and nearly unseated me when he pulled a quarter horse sprint out of nowhere. Pal kicked off what I belatedly realized was one of the bridge supports snapping and diving after the girl's waterlogged body as it rolled along the bottom like a tumbleweed in a dust storm…

_I called on Abeona and Adeona whose place it was to protect children when they were out of their parents' sight, on Volturnus Lord of Rivers, Egeria Lady of the waters, to the Lars of the House of Romulus from whence I came, and in final desperation to the crucified Judean criminal she undoubtedly worshiped but my jaws closed on nothing but muddy water. I dug into the bottom surging forward broken ribs screaming in protest and at last my jaws closed on the heavy sodden fabric of her coat. Kicking off I strained for the surface, scrabbling in wild desperation against the ice, whining in protest as I felt Viduus approaching making this not only a battle against a mere mortal river but against the baneful Lethe beyond whose bank I could not venture_….

I gagged, coughing and trembling as I leaned low over Fire's neck. It wasn't the first time I'd felt one of my dogs die but never so **close**. It was as if my own heart had given up the fight, as if the breath that had been stolen was my own as water invaded my lungs, as if the river water had frozen my own limbs. Fire started to slow but I slapped him with the reins and cursed as the curve of the river brought us within easy reach of the bridge. So damn close. God, it wasn't fair! I wanted to protest but there was no justice in this world.

**Eric**

Damn him! Always charging in, never thinking anything through, like the fact he'd just gone off cross-country on a horse that fell through more jumps than he cleared though if anyone could get him over the fences it would be Jake. I knew I should have put Jake on Chief this morning then I would have had a chance of keeping up, at least until we ended up tangled in a fence or ended up under him when he slipped and fell in this slushy muck. It wasn't until we were past the bridge that I caught sight of him and only because he'd slowed to an amble.

He swiped at his eyes as I rode up and I pretended not to notice.

"Where's Pal?"

"He drowned" Jake muttered in his trying not cry voice.

"That's impossible" or everything in Grandfather's notes was utterly wrong. He was essentially immortal and hundreds, maybe thousands, of years old and he certainly couldn't be killed by our usually pathetic little river.

Jake stared at me "Why? Where did you get this? What is it? What's going on?"

"I'll explain later, just call him. He isn't what he seems." Oh, that sounded brilliant.

Jake looked at me like I'd lost my mind "How?"

"Ummm" good question "Look the water is freezing. Even if they did drown we still might be able to get them back if we can find them."

"They're probably half-way to Rouge River by now" Jake retorted softly, eyes distant. No, more like shell shocked.

"Hey, that's Emily talking. You're the one that used to do God knows what on this river, is there somewhere they might have gotten caught?"

I was surprised that I had to even say it. Jake might charge in without a plan and without a second (or even first) thought but he certainly didn't 'freeze up' and unlike me you never had to give Jake any help to get him moving.

A quick shake of the head and he kicked Fire into a quick trot, rubbing the talisman like a worrystone and muttering something as he grabbed his walkie talkie.

**Jake**

Eric was loosing it. Not that he didn't have a point about the water temp. I felt like a complete idiot, of course we might be able to get them back…if we could find them. The river made a hard turn about four more miles downstream and I'd noticed a snag in the outside of the curve a few weeks ago while out on patrol. If they'd gotten hung up there we might just get lucky. I wanted to kick Fire back into another hell for leather gallop but it would take both us to get them out, if they were there at all and if we did get them out I might need Fire's speed later. My 'gift' only went one way. I could receive but I couldn't send, but I tried as held Fire to a pace that Chief could match letting 'Pal please don't die, get your ass back here' become a mantra to try and ignore the agony in my ankle which was NOT ready for Fire's jackhammer trot.

I hauled Fire up so hard he squealed in protest and Eric barked something about break lights.

_My ribs shrieked a protest as I threw myself against the traces but I ignored it as best I could. They would heal in a few more minutes but the girl didn't have time for me to cosset my battered flesh._

"What the hell, Jake?" Eric complained (he really should give up trying to curse).

"He's alive" I was elated and angrier than I had ever been in my life "He **DIED** Eric and now he's alive. And you KNEW he would be. What the _**HELL**_ is going on?!"

Eric licked his lips and I swore for a second he was going to scream for Dad to come save him like he usually did when we were kids. "Is Julie alive?"

I could feel every bruise, broken bone, and strained ligament complain as he pulled himself up from the bend in the river and onto higher ground. I could smell, God, the world was alive with more scents than I had ever dreamed of. Pal took several deeps breaths ignoring the grating of bone and then leapt into a ground eating trot heading for town through the slush and half frozen mud at a punishing pace. I turned Fire on an intercept course without answering Eric.

_I wasn't sure if I hoped that Jake had heard me and help was on the way or not. If he had, gods, if he had…_

A violent shiver that had nothing to do with the chilly wind against his drenched fur ran through him. Fear warred with hope and curiosity. Pal wanted to be able to trust me every inch as much as I had want Maggie to really be a marine but he was far warier than I had ever been in my life.

_If he hears then so does his father and that explains much. _

I could smell the stench of my father's fear, and the calculating anger that followed it. Pal was far more afraid of Dad than he was of me and I had a flash of him just out of sight of the house towering above, hand raised. Had Dad _hit_ my wolf? I was already pissed at Eric for keeping secrets but now a boiling resentment flared against Dad. Son of a BITCH! Lying BASTARD. I took a couple of deep breaths. Pal was still a good mile maybe even two ahead of me but we were both covering ground at a good clip I needed to be calm or he was going to bolt on me.

_They do not have the look or smell of half breeds but we are not far from where the Kikapu were 'resettled' and their medicine bloodline was certainly very gifted. It can not be, they would never have permitted it to mingle with the invaders that had stolen their homeland. Perhaps it's something in the water hereabout._

I spared a glance for what had to be the remnants of a medicine bag and at the stone it had barely been able to contain when Eric handed it to me. Grandpa had mentioned the Kikapu only once but it had been memorable. I'd been in that cowboy crazy stage every boy seems to go through about the same time the girls go ga-ga for unicorns. He'd taken one look at me 'shooting Injuns' and given me 'THE LOOK'. Despite how much I'd disappointed Mom and Dad I had rarely disappointed Grandpa but the couple of times I had had cut all the way to the quick. He'd handed me some books, taken me to visit their reservation. I'd never been on the cowboys side again and while wild horses couldn't have drug the confession out of me I'd cried when reading some of those books and on the way home from the trip. Dad had been livid at Grandpa and had grilled me. There were clearly a lot of questions I should have been asking.

_I shouldn't be going anywhere near that town. Except there was nowhere else to take the girl. Not if I want her to survive. Things would be touch and go as it was and there was April to consider. I had heard rumors that there was another physician in town but I had certainly seen no evidence of it at the clinic. If complications arose she would need the services of an extremely talented surgeon. And how' I snarled back at myself 'Aurelius Catalus Paullus do you propose to make them believe that a boy of __**apparently**__ a mere nine summers is in troth one of the best emergency medics on the planet?'_

I nearly hauled Fire to a stop. Pal WAS Paullus? That wasn't possible. Except that it fit. Impossible but it fit. Even if my head couldn't accept it my gut knew it was true. He came and went because I could only 'hear' him in wolf form. Pal…Paul? gave a little mental sigh of long-suffering patience glad that his shattered ribs had finally healed and he could now lope without stabbing pain, exhaustion and cold were easier to ignore… for now

_Given what I had learned on the banks of the Lethe it might be better if I let April, her unborn, and the girl die. Kinder, gentler than what was likely coming. Gods, Goddesses, Fates, Muses how was I to…what could I, least of my kind, hope to do against, against Him? But then when had the Gods ever helped anyone? Except the mighty had already fallen. Brave, valiant, proud Tomarchio had already stumbled and delivered us into His hand. Chivalrous Sir Matthew, dear friend, confidant, and deliverer was trapped in His web. How was I to save myself never mind the rest of the world? _

The welter of despair, stark terror, grief, and betrayal made me what to kill whoever 'He' was as a mournful, haunting howl drifted across the dips and rises that separated us.

_It would be easy enough to slow my steps. Another half hour and she would be across the Lethe, from whence none (unless the rumors about a certain Judean criminal were actually true) had ever returned. Less than that if Jake hadn't heard (you know damn well he heard and he's coming) because I was her only hope of making it back to town and I was likely to freeze first, all depended on the wind. _

"Don't you DARE" I commanded and I noted that his beeline for town never faltered.

_Except she made the choice not to cross the Lethe and asked to be returned despite hearing…but what does she of what is coming? To be told that the Champion has fallen is one thing to survive it is another. But then what do I know? Six times a thousand years have come and gone since the last Champion fell and even amongst my kind there are but a handful old enough to remember the Horsemen's Reign. _

He missed a step nearly falling on his face as it dawned on him that the handful left who remembered the fall of the last Champion **WERE** the Horsemen.

_I spoke to Methos only yesterday. Surely if he had reverted to being Khloros, the 'Pale' Rider I would have heard the difference in his voice?_

Another long shiver _Or not, no one lies like Methos. Consummate survivor, ultimate chameleon, unmatched schemer. _

In Pal's mind's eye I was in what looked like something out of Ben Hur except a whole lot more risqué_._

_I sipped my wine keeping an eye on Nero as Master had commanded. I remembered clearly when Master had made the Republic into an Empire and set young Octavian on Rome's 'throne'. Nero had forgotten that Caesar was merely 'first among equals'. Master was and would always be the 'Pater Familias' for every child of the city he founded. One would think that a man who had invoked the vitae necisque potestas, the power of life and death, over his stepbrother to secure is position would recall that it could equally be used against him. Paunch spilling in every direction he started singing one of his own compositions. I wanted to cover my ears. He played passably well but I'd rather listen to mating cats than his singing at least I could chase them through the streets to shut them up. Methos, Master's advisor was doubling as my guardian at this particular revel since Master had business elsewhere, followed my glance as he savored the honeyed larks' tongues. _

According to April, the man lounging on a fantastically embroidered couch in the middle of a full Roman bacchanal with things going on in the background that had never made it into my wildest dreams was Dr. Benjamin Adamson the big nosed Brit who was studying death, sort of. April had said 'they' were very much their own little cadre, but a cadre of what? For a second I almost reined Fire in but even if I was afraid there was still Julie to consider. I couldn't afford to be afraid because he would smell it and _**knowing**_ that I knew I had no doubt he would bolt. Grandpa had taught me friends close and enemies closer I didn't know which Pal was yet but he knew more than anyone about what was going on and the town needed that even more than the prey and potatoes he had brought in.

"_A denarius for your thoughts."_

_I preferred the dormice to the larks' tongues and peacocks' brains. I wasn't certain if I should speak. Master didn't always approve of what Methos told me. Methos wasn't a proper slave, like me. He'd run wild for millennia before Master sent Caesar and his legions to Egypt to capture him (and incidentally as an added bonus to add Egypt to Rome subjugated provinces). Aedilius Lucius, Giacus, and Constantine wanted Master to take Methos' Quickening because they said he was a great danger and very powerful. I hoped not, I liked Methos, even if he wasn't a good slave._

_Master had assigned Methos to be my tutor but not everything he said was correct for a good slave so I was to report everything we spoke of to Master so he could put things in proper perspective except that I knew that if I told __**all**__ Master would punish Methos. It wasn't good for me to disobey. I resented Methos for putting me in such a position and did my best to avoid it but Methos was determined that I should learn to think no matter how inappropriate such a thing was. As Methos argued some slaves undoubtedly could better serve their masters with sharp wits but I was a pet._

_I sighed, I was not worthy to match wits with Methos and never would be "The world changes tonight."_

_Methos rolled his eyes "Because that fat fool will lose his life? Hardly" he set his goblet down and continued more gently "Your Master"_

"_**Our**__ Master" I corrected._

"_Romulus" Methos retorted and I sucked in a breath at the sheer audacity "will still be Master of Rome at the end of the night no matter who wears the purple. Oh, there will be a mad scramble to fill the vacuum but for you the world will not change so long as Romulus lives."_

_I blinked at him "Master is a God, gods don't die." I didn't precisely understand this death thing. I had heard it spoken of since leaving Master's Den (at Methos' urging during the days of Octavian. I wasn't certain how many years I had been in the Den but Giacus was only a few years my elder and he remembered the second and third Punic Wars) but I had never seen it. The other slaves came and went and those that died never returned. The notion that Master might not return someday sent panic through me. _

"_Even gods falter and fall. The day will come when you will stand alone" he warned his eyes going green/gold, hard as adamantine and bottomlessly ancient, wells of horrors beyond thought and ken. I rolled over giving him my belly in petrified submission but he snapped in the Babylonian he'd taught me "You aren't a puppy Aurelius no matter what Romulus thinks. You are a yazatas, gifted beyond these mortals that we walk among. You can not claim that your master is responsible for your actions. You ALONE are responsible to keep the asha and the daena for yourself. What will you do if you find yourself one of the Amesha Spenta?"_

_I wanted to flee. Never had Methos gone so far. Never had he spoken like this. Yes, he had spoken of Zartosht who claimed to have been one of the three Amesha Spenta to hold fast to the asha during the Horsemen's reign but only in mocking tones when Master had sent armies to capture him. Methos scoffed at the notion of gods and demons. He had belittled those few who spoke of the Great Cycle, the Dark One, and the Champion. Master did too. His interest in Zartosht was only because he, like Methos, was one of the rare Ancients not because of his bizarre religion. Now Methos sounded like he was espousing it. Master would be furious if I told him that Methos had even implied that I should be responsible for myself. Good slaves were an extension of their Master having no will or desire of their own. I had been a good slave before Methos. If I hadn't been so frightened for us both I would have been angry myself at Methos for doing this. I should tell, he deserved to be punished. _

The memory vanished abruptly to be replaced by familiar wind and sky. I was upwind and about a mile away, unless the wind turned we would be on top of him before he realized it.

_According to Zartosht before that piece of filth Alaric slaughtered him Methos had BEEN one of the Amesha Spenta. One who fell, one who had been for a thousand years the worst of the Horsemen, the Pale Rider. And he was by no means a monster these days. There was hope for Tomarchio. There was hope for us all. There had to be. __'In a thousand years' a more cynical mental voice threw in__. I didn't KNOW that Tomarchio was the Champion and that he had fallen. __Yes you do, you can hear it in his voice. A year ago he never would have destroyed two countries in vengeance. He has changed radically and now I know why_

He stopped, threw his head back and howled like a lost soul again. Eric shouted "Julie?" over the pounding of the horses hooves. I shook my head and focused on Pal.

_The whole bloody world has changed. The question is – how many of the six Amesha Spenta have fallen? __Does it matter? Zartosht said that as long as one of the Amesha Spenta stands firm the Dark One can not triumph and as long as one falls the Dark One can not be banished. Tomarchio fell, I can not afford to I might be the only one left._

The thought was enough to make him start hyperventilating. I was getting the feeling that whatever else Pal was he was a serious chicken shit. I caught my own scent via Pal's nose (and made a mental note to bath more frequently despite the lack of heat and water), the wind must have shifted without my noticing. And picked up significantly. Not good. To my surprise his first emotion was actually relief as he started to turn away from his course toward the road, followed by the becoming entirely too familiar fear.

_God less fortunate, he hears, he knows. _He swallowed hard and his mental voice dropped to a whisper _maybe it will be alright, sometimes it is._ Then the other voice _And how often has THAT been the case through the centuries?_

I was suddenly drowning in a nightmare cornucopia of memories, a woman whose life I had just saved shrieking "WITCH" as her husband finished lashing me to the stake and the boy I'd taught to track set the torch to the wood then came the too familiar sickening stench of my own flesh slowly roasting. The sound of a bone saw and the sharp sting of the scalpel as merciless leather straps kept me bound to the table for yet another dissection. The baying of hounds as the woodsmen I'd helped survive the winter came for the bounty on my 'wolf's' head and the price my pelt would fetch. A man with a strange tattoo on the inside of his wrist slid a needle into the vein as he hissed 'abomination' and the memories were too much, too horrible, too.

I raised my hand to my burning face. Eric had both our reins and the stone in one hand and had the other drawn back ready to hit me again.

"Are you ok?"

No, I wasn't. I swallowed hard to keep from retching. I was no 'virgin'. I had seen things that would have Eric screaming into his pillow for the rest of his life. That sometimes had me screaming into mine. But never like that, never like that, and hell be damn sure never from the victim's perspective. Funny thing was I was nearly as angry at Pal for letting them, and there were times when I was certain that rather than hurt someone he'd let a few of those things happen. Suppose it was noble or …something but someone attacks you you hit them back. Turning the other cheek only gets you slapped harder. And God but it had gotten Pal slapped in spades. If it had been me I'd be meaner than a junkyard dog with rabies. Proof that the 'kid' was probably a better human being than I was if he was anything resembling human at all.

"Yeh" I muttered and kicked Fire back into canter because whatever else he was Pal was damn near done in.

It didn't take us long to come up on either side of Pal whose entire mental world seemed to have shrunk to one paw in front of the other. I wonder if he was really that exhausted or if it was his way of playing dumb. Well, according to Dad and Eric I could play dumb with the best of them.

"Hey Pal." I suppose it shouldn't be a surprised to find that Julie had been stripped of her soaked clothes and bundled in a sky blue sweater with the bulky cowl pulled up round her head like a hood and an emergency blanket tucked up tight around her but I was. Pal himself wasn't so lucky. He was soaked to the skin and NOT shivering which wasn't a good sign. It wasn't nearly as cold as it had been that night with Stanley but Pal was half my size and still nearly dripping wet. And the wind was a damn sight stronger. The question of how he was getting several times his own weight in prey back to town was answered as well. Very clever little rig, it hovered on a pocket of air so that the little wolf wasn't really pulling any significant weight at all. I noticed here was a little fan at the top that was blowing warm air over Julie too as I checked her thready but steady pulse. He didn't even look up, just methodically kept putting one paw in front of the other as I jogged along side to check the girl.

"Eric take the reins" I said as I started to slide a hand under her. Pal growled and pulled just a little ahead.

"You can't, the bouncing could send her into cardiac arrest."

"OK, switch horses with me. You ride on ahead and guide them in."

"Jake the roads are covered with slush and we don't have the fuel to waste on the plow."

"Waste?!" I snapped at him.

"You know what I mean Jake. They aren't going to be able to meet us until just outside of town."

Pal gave a deep, resigned breath and picked up the pace just a touch. I had the distinct impression that there wasn't much acting going on on his part. Between whatever he had been doing earlier today, the river, dying, reviving, his panic attack, the cold, and trotting for miles through the wet slushy muck he was fading fast. Maybe I could tie that floating air platform of his off to my stirrup and take him up on Chief with me? He shook his head to clear it and drawing air deep into lungs that were no longer waterlogged tried to pull a second wind out of nowhere. I could tell he didn't get it but he kept putting one paw in front of the other anyway.

"Just a little further, boy" I said softly but I knew those sharp ears heard each word of the litany of encouragement I fed him and by the time we reached the road he was following it blindly, beyond thought, in a complete fugue state. Damn it there had to be a better alternative because I was beginning think to that he was going to die on me again if we didn't get him rest and warmth soon. I felt like an ass for doubting his courage earlier. A true coward would have let me take Julie up on the horse.

Eric's return didn't even register with Pal.

"Where's the ambulance?"

"Close" he glanced down at Pal with a flicker of worry and then dismissed it. I wanted to slug him especially when the 'I've done something I shouldn't and am scared shitless' look returned. Eric and Pal had a lot in common.

"Dad's with them" a lick of the lips "you can't let him know that I."

His hand was wrapped around the little stone talisman so hard that the imprint of if it was going to give him away. I was pissed enough at them both I could chew iron and spit nails but now wasn't the time. I'd never ratted Eric out despite the fact that he couldn't wait to make me look even worse than I was. I wasn't going to start now. I glared at him.

"There are more important things right now" like Julie who was still unconscious and Pal who was about to literally drop dead. "But I had better know everything you do the instant we have an opportunity."

A nod and the van we were using came fishtailing around the curve and nearly doughnutted to a stop. Pal trotted right into the front tire, bounced off, blinked at the offending rubber, and dropped like a rock into the dirty slush the little platform sinking slowly to the ground as its fans died. Had he somehow been powering them as well? I tossed Eric Chief's reins and dashed to Pal while Dad and Todd rolled Julie carefully onto a backboard. The 'harness' was a simple affair with no buckles or hooks of any kind that slid easily over his head and rest collapsed with a touch now that the air was out of it. I wadded it up and tossed it into the back before sliding into the truck with him. Dad's protest died at my glance and he silently gave up his seat in favor of riding home with Eric.

"You had better meet us at the clinic" I mouthed at Eric who nodded.

April yanked open the doors of the van almost before we'd stopped "What's the bullet?"

"Hypothermic BP high at 140/100, core temp 85.9 and slowly rising, reps shallow and slow, heart rate 60 bpm, lacerations to the right forearm."

April glanced at the limp and only slightly less soggy Pal in my arms with hate in her eyes. I'd tried the entire way to get any response while toweling him off as best I could with some rags but I'd gotten nothing at all. He was considerably colder than Julie and his heart rate even lower and both should have been higher but that didn't worry me half so much as how erratic his pulse was. I'd kept telling myself he was a werewolf and werewolves clearly don't drown so they can't die of hypothermia either. It had to be silver bullets, nothing else would do. Of course he didn't seem to care much about the moon.

"He didn't attack her. He saved her life. He went into the river after her and he's the one that got her out and to help."

"Keep that thing out of my clinic."

"April, he's going to die if we don't get him someplace warm. He won't make it home." She glanced up from listening to Julie's chest face hard and I cursed inwardly as she spat "I'm not a vet."

"Please don't make him die for being a hero" I begged. I had absolutely no intention of going anywhere but the clinic with him but I still had to live with April.

Thank God for Lucas to the rescue as he tugged on her lab coat, tears rolling down his face, lip trembling "But you just gotta save him. He tried and tried to get us off the ice before it broke but Julie didn't listen."

"Keep him away from the patients" she snapped as she stalked alongside the gurney with Julie. Lucas followed me in.

"It's all my fault. I'm the one that wanted to go fishing."

It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him it was just an accident "You didn't mean for it to happen" I said instead. More accurate and not quite as brutal as agreeing "but you have to think before you do things."

"I just wish there was something I could do to help."

"There is. I need tubing, a thermometer with a cover, warm blankets or a heating pad, towels, warm water, and some broth. Can you go find someone to get that stuff for me?" I laid Pal gently on a gurney just outside the trauma room where it was slightly warmer. Mom met my eyes clearly torn between me and the trauma room with Julie.

"Go" I mouthed as Bruce came barreling in with an armload of something. It never ceased to amaze me how fast some news could still travel in a town with no phones.

"What did you do to my beautiful pup?" the words were an accusation but the tone was a soothing purr. He could have saved the effort Pal wasn't hearing anything and was a close to dead as you could be and still be breathing. He started to pull up his lips to check his gums and eyes widening ran them down his side.

"Sweet Jesus, he's an icicle."

"He went swimming in a mostly frozen river" I retorted editing the idiot out as I riffled through what he brought looking for something to warm the little wolf back up with. Blow dryer and a heating pad. A warm bath would have been better but the hot water heater was normally turned off and any hot water that was to be had would be going to Julie. I plugged both into the wall knowing that at some point I was going to get a load a grief for wasting power on a wolf. I was really looking forward to hitting whoever it was that gave it to me.

He glanced up at me "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine" I said but now that he'd asked the world did seem distant somehow. I thanked Lucas' mother for the broth and blankets. Bruce swore staring at the thermometer that he'd brought I elbowed him out of the way so I could tuck the blanket around Pal then tested the blow dryer to make certain it actually blew warm air before tucking it so that it blew a constant stream of warmth into his cocoon of blankets.

"61 degrees" Bruce muttered looking a little grey.

"That isn't a core temp" I countered but I was willing to bet Pal's core temp was at least 10 degrees lower than Julie's. Blasted wind. "Do you know how to get the broth into him?"

He nodded, resolutely put the thermometer down and started to tilt Pal's head back when it happened. I felt the lurch, the falter and roared a "NO!"

Bruce must have picked up on it too because he wrapped his lips around Pal's entire muzzle and started breathing for him while I shoved the blankets aside to do compressions. What had I been _**THINKING**_ to bring him in here? I should have taken him home. He'd returned from the dead once already today. He could undoubtedly do it again. I should have quietly taken him home where he wouldn't do it in front of the whole damn clinic. If he died here he would never be able to set foot back in town as Pal. I was a grade A 200 proof IDIOT!

"Jake" April snapped "I'm trying to" a pause and then she was beside me.

"Julie" I protested.

"Is stable and improving" she retorted. Listening as Bruce and I continued CPR. I didn't understand why he'd crashed now.

"Don't you dare" I ordered sounding more like a drill sergeant than Dad at his worst "nobody gave you permission to die. You get back here right this instant." Bruce gasped and my fingers tingled as a flicker of what felt like a weak electric current ran through him and he jerked awake eyes wide and terrified. Pulse alternately racing and stopping.

"It's ok" I soothed as he yipped and cringed. Awake wasn't precisely the right term. He had no clue where he was or who we were, only that there were hands on him and hands usually meant pain. He was so out of it he couldn't even assemble the thought please don't hurt me.

"It's ok" I repeated as I caught his head trying to get him to see me but his eyes were glazed and unfocused with pupils dilated so wide the blue was the thinnest of ribbons around the gapping black. He wasn't capable of seeing anything but he could smell. He recognized my scent as someone he knew even if he couldn't put a name to it right now and some of the fear bled away as he tried to nuzzle into my hand but had no coordination and missed.

"Good boy" April murmured into his ear. There was a quick change of attitude. Pregnant women frighten me. "Nobody's going to hurt you."

He whimpered as his eyes sagged back shut "Oh, no you don't" I said giving his head the slightest of shakes "you open those eyes back up."

_Tired_ came the faintest of thoughts but where my immediate reaction to any order was defiance Pal's was unquestioning obedience.

"We need to warm you back up" his pupils weren't reacting to light "so we're going run this tube down your throat so we can get some warm broth into you. Don't fight us."

I didn't think he'd understood a word I said until a sluggish _gastric lavage_ tumbled back and he tried to turn his head a little to make it easier but he had no control.

"Hey, you let us handle everything" I said.

'_Kay_ he still didn't really know who any of us were but he'd recognized all three scents as familiar and relaxed enough to just drift in an exhausted daze. Getting the tube in proved to be a challenge since none of us were vets and I finally ended up sitting on the gurney with Pal half across my lap.

_Hot_ he complained as the broth finally started to flow and he whined.

April gave his ears a scratch and his tail twitched before she left to check on Julie. He sighed against me eyes starting to sag shut again.

"Don't let him sleep" Bruce insisted but I shrugged the fatigue rolling off him like waves making it tough to hold my own eyes open.

"I don't think we can stop him. He's pretty done in."

"Jake" Bruce wasn't going to give up "you know better."

"Wakey, wakey" I said moving the blow dryer a little so it didn't scorch his fur.

The whine of _cold_ was accompanied by what I knew from recent experience was only the first shiver.

About half the broth had drained into him before his head snapped up eyes finally focusing _**the girl?!**_ He wiggled a little in my arms trying to catch her scent despite the tube, relaxing a little as he recognized April's voice in the next room assuring her mom that the prognosis looked good even though she wasn't awake yet.

"Welcome back" I said and as those utterly human blue eyes looked up from my lap I wondered how I had ever believed they belonged to a wolf "Didn't think you were going to make it there for a little while."

With the return of awareness came the fear that was beginning to annoy me but I gently stroked his head not letting it show as the shivers increased in virulence and frequency. He burrowed his head into my chest as the burning began. Having just been down this particular road myself I could sympathize with the little whimpers. Apparently being a werewolf didn't get you off the hook when you essentially froze yourself.

"You have anything in there we could give him?"

"I'd rather not. I'm not a vet and he's already crashed once."

Not all the shivers were from cold. I didn't remember my own pain being quite so sharp.

"I think it'll be ok. Now that his coat's dry he's warming up fast." I gently tugged the tube out and he sighed with relief since it itched where he couldn't scratch. One less annoyance in the agony.

Bruce considered for a minute and then went fishing in his bag "Use these. SPARINGLY. No more than half a one at a time." He glanced out at the sky "I have to go." But he watched Pal breath for a good minute before actually tearing himself away.

I broke a pill in half and offered it to Pal who gratefully gulped it down, further proof that he was no real dog and within a few minutes bone rattling shivers and all he was fast asleep. Now were the hell was Eric? He should have long since been back. Almost as if he'd heard me he came sneaking in looking like the kid caught with one hand in the cookie jar and the other in the liquor cabinet. Not for the first time I wondered if one of us was adopted. And how blind everyone must have been to miss the fact that he was cheating on April. Shmuck.

"How is she?"

"Not awake yet but all of her vitals look good." I dropped my voice to a stage whisper "Any time you'd like to start talking."

"Dad doesn't know that I took this stuff to give to you and you CAN'T let him know that I did. He threatened to disown GRANDPA if he gave it to you."

"But it's ok for you to know?" I could feel old resentments flaring.

"Not really, no. You must be rubbing off on me because I stole it."

Eric STOLE something. Maybe we were actually related and some latent genes were finally kicking in.

"I couldn't take all of it, he might have noticed. He still might notice." He passed me the stone which I pocketed and a letter in one of Grandpa's codes. It had been a while since he'd taught me this one and it took me a couple of minutes to get back into the swing of deciphering them.

**Hey son, if you're reading this than I'm dead and you didn't make it back home before I went. It's ok. I know how your Dad can be. I wish I'd been able to tell you this in person though you'd likely think I'd been drinking a little too much from my still out back. **

**There's so much you don't know. That your father absolutely forbad me from telling you or Eric and that's partially my fault. I should have worked harder at making him understand. I never should have let him go alone but I'd always loved going to see her and it never occurred to me she would terrify your four year old father witless and, not to be to melodramatic, apparently scar him for life. **

**There's a lot to be said so best I get to the point. My grandmother was a Kikapu medicine woman. The best they had. How she ended up marrying a white man is quite an adventure. Your dad knows the story, if the stubborn mule has finally given you this get him to tell you. You get your knack with animals from her, so does Johnston though he's spent his whole life trying to deny it exists. She was also a seer and she made her last prophesy the day she met your dad. Had a stroke screaming about the horrors she'd seen. I don't know if the war's come yet or not. Given how your father feels about it all the fact that you're reading this likely means that the bombs have already been set off. Twenty-three cities have been reduced to rubble, an EMP has knocked out power across most of the US, and Iran and N Korea have been left in smoldering ruins.**

I froze staring at the page and then at Eric. DAD HAD KNOWN?! It was a damn good thing I was already sitting down and that he wasn't here.

**I hope your dad wasn't an idiot and had things ready but I doubt it. He's always done his best to forget it, to pretend it wasn't real or never happened. I'm sure things are ugly and getting uglier by the day. Thing is this is just the beginning. Something even uglier might be coming and that's where you come in. You're a Raven Child. Not being born with any 'gifts' I've never been quite sure precisely what that means. Best I can figure it means you touch and see the world a little different than everyone else and you walk a different path. It's part of the trouble between you and your dad. He's scared, son, of you and for you. There's someone your path is supposed to cross. He's someone damn important to our family even though none of us have seen him in a few generations. The Kikapu call him Medicine Wolf. Way back when white men weren't much more than a rumor out here two lawmen showed up in the village with a yellow wolf pup tracking the kind of monster that thinks dumping poison in the well is a cute joke. They caught the sob but not before he had half the tribe at death's door. Scar Face couldn't care less and took the prisoner while Long Knife stayed behind to try to help. Problem was the People didn't believe in his magic, wouldn't take his medicine not until the wolf became a child with big medicine. The People wanted the wolf to stay with them forever.**

"Glad to know it wasn't all bad" I whispered into Pal's ear as he shivered still deeply asleep against my chest. And I was doubly glad that MY family hadn't turned on him.

**But he refused though he came again in times of great hardship bringing supplies in famine, sage advice in both peace and war, and his great healing skill. Without him the Kikapu might have ended up just another 'lost' tribe. He saved a lot of lives including my Grandmother's entire family more than once. From the sound of things you get to be the one to try and pay back the debt. The stroke robbed her of her knowledge of English and slurred her speech so badly that she was almost unintelligible but I could make out this much – it wasn't seeing the bombs and whatnot that gave her the stroke. There's something after Medicine Wolf. Something twisted and evil. Something that knows his weaknesses and how to exploit them. An evil that wants to do something worse than kill him.**

**Back in the War I actually ran into Long Knife. His 'English' name is Matthew. He's living in New York right this moment. Still a lawman. You get this before the bombs you look him up, going by the last name of McCormick. One of the best damn men I ever met. Saved my whole squad back in the war. When my grandmother died I went to see him. Told him I knew what he wasn't a regular human, told him how I knew begged him to tell me what he could about Medicine Wolf. He didn't want to at first, didn't half believe me but he knew me and my grandmother when she was young so he finally caved. **

I remembered that flash I'd gotten from Pal of 'Sir Matthew' pale and still after stopping the New York bomb. Had to be the same guy. Pal hadn't completely given up on him yet. Wasn't much given to prayer but I breathed one in both their names for a fallen friend.

**They're called the Quickened. They stop aging the first time they experience a 'little death' meaning something bad enough to kill a normal person quick. They die, they just don't stay dead. Way I understand it they can survive damn near anything except each other. Damn fools could live forever but about half of them go about hunting each other down and committing bloody murder. But let me tell it in as near to Matt's exact words as I can remember. **

_**I can't tell you how old Paullus is. Age is equated with power. The older one of us is the more avidly those younger than him will hunt him to take his head and with it his Quickening and power. I'm nearly eight hundred which puts me a bit older than most. Paullus is older maybe a lot older than I am. Child Immortals usually don't last long. They're too easy prey for the headhunters. Most don't survive their first year because they haven't got a prayer of defending themselves in a no holds barred fight to the death. I only know of two who have ever survived their first decade. Kenneth is about my age though he looks about ten. Nastiest most twisted piece of work you ever want to meet. Kills anything that gets in his way, sneaking, backstabbing little bastard. You meet a ten year old name Kenny with empty eyes don't turn your back on him because he'll but a knife in it. He's a monster but I understand him. I understand why. Kenneth was made into a monster by the hunters. **_

_**Paullus is an entirely different matter. Most of us aren't really that different from regular mortals. We live a little longer we get to do a little more but we're really just people. And like you we have our monsters and our saints. Paullus is one of, if not THE, best of us. In over 750 years of being a 'law man' I've done a lot of things I'm proud of. Saved a lot of lives. Made things better for a lot of people but little Paullus runs rings around me. If I had to list the three things in eight centuries that I proudest of one of them is that I've saved Paullus' life. He's a damn fine doctor but it's more than that. Most days when I wake up I'm looking for my woman, my cup of coffee, and a newspaper. When Paullus wakes up he's looking for a way to make someone else's day better for pretty much every day of at least the last thousand years. He's also a true pacifist which when you happen to belong to a race that considers combat a sacred duty is vanishingly rare. Paullus would sooner be burned alive than harm someone. If there's a vindictive or vengeful molecule in his body I've never seen it. Mind you he isn't perfect and a bundle of contradictions. He manages to be simultaneously the bravest person I've ever met and the worst coward. He can and will run out on you in a heartbeat if it means saving his own hide. He can be moody as hell too.**_

_**Something else you have to remember about Paullus, even though there's at least a thousand years of life experience behind those baby blues of his – he's still only nine or maybe even eight. We stop physically aging the first time we don't die when we should have. For most of us that doesn't mean too much because we're physically mature. Paullus isn't. He never hit puberty, his brain just as much as his body never got a chance to grow up. One minute he will have the wisdom of Solomon and in the next he'll blindside you with a stunt you wouldn't expect out of a four year old. Some of the things kids think and do is lack of experience but Paullus has proved to me in spades through the centuries that some of it is fundamental to the fact that their brains are still developing and Paullus is stuck there. Which brings me to the wolf thing. It's not something all of us can do. Point of fact its something that only three of us have EVER been able to do. For most of us all the Quickening does is make us exceptionally difficult to kill. A handful of us can do some minor tricks. I happen to fall into that category myself and Paullus thinks he falls into that group too. About once a millennia one of us comes along who is a full sorcerer. I suspect if Paullus had had the chance to grow up or even now if he really applied himself he'd discover that there's a lot more talent there than he thinks there is. Actually it's one of the things that drives me nuts about him. He sells himself way too short. I can name six CITIES that wouldn't exist today if it wasn't for Paullus and if you call him a hero he'll tell you he was barely involved and give the credit to anyone present so long as it isn't himself. There are days I could shake him but he'd probably hide from me for the rest of eternity if I did. Nothing wrong with humility but he takes it a couple of miles too far.**_

_**I don't know what else I can say that would help you. I don't know what this thing is that Wiitekoa saw. I would lay my life down for Paullus. You tell your Jake that. Anything he needs to help Paullus that is in my power to give is his.**_

**I'm afraid I can't give you much help either. If my grandmother knew anything about how to fight this thing she never managed to make herself understood. She did convey a few things about the sob that's after Mahweea. Damn thing doesn't have a body; it's some sort of malevolent spirit. Every so many years it targets the best of the Quickened, tempts them, seduces them, threatens them, whatever it takes to get past their guard and twist them up and make them into monsters then feeds off it. Better they were before, the more power this thing gains and the more it can do to everyone else. The 23 US cities destroyed, the EMP, the wiping of two whole nations off the face of the earth is because of this thing taking just ONE of its targets. Little Paullus will be an even bigger prize for it. Unless you figure a way to help him it's going to take a 'boy' whose raison d'etre for over a thousand years has been to brighten up the world and make him into a monster that makes Hitler look like a choir boy. Apparently it's had the chance before but it's been waiting for the perfect shot. I know this is a hell of a lot to dump on you and you probably don't believe half of it. Not sure I believe half of it but I know the stories and I saw Matt come back from the dead once. The Quickened are real. Your great-great grandmother's gifts were real. Guess it's not too much of a stretch to believe that evil is real and has a face.**

**Don't know how to end this. Keep trying to think of some brilliant words of wisdom, something that will help. Never was much for church, just went to please your grandmother but I always like the story of Ester even though I never had much time for the notion of Fate. 'Thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this'. If there's Evil, stands to reason that there's Good too. Don't know if you'll find the notion you were chosen for this comforting or as something else to get your dander up about but know this, son, **_**I**_** believe in you and I love you. You can do this. My grandmother saw that he didn't have a prayer alone. She saw that you might be able save him. You be the hero I've always known you were.**

**Don't make me come back there and kick your ass.**

I stared at the letter in my hand wondering if I'd completely forgotten Grandpa's code and misread the entire thing. Wondering if I'd lost my mind. Feeling like someone had just changed all the rules on me and had given me one quarter of the playbook with every third word in Japanese. I looked up at Eric who was frowning down at Pal.

"How out of it is he?"

"You could run a freight train through and not wake him."

He gave a slow nod, swallowed hard twice, dropped his voice to a whisper "It might be best to kill him now."

If I wouldn't have had to dump Pal on the floor to do it I would have knocked him through the damn wall. He actually backed up into wall hands spread, eyes wide, "Just a thought."

"Don't think it" I growled. Somewhere in the stuff Eric hadn't seen fit to give me were instructions on how to murder Pal, permanently. I needed to know everything.

"Eric"

He shook his head "No way, Dad'll kill me."

"I need to know."

I thought for a second he was going to go through the wall without my assistance. And when Mom popped out of the trauma room I thought he might achieve orbit. Never knew he could jump that high. He probably didn't know himself.

"Julie's awake and she's demanding to speak with you alone."

I'd been so focused on Eric and Grandpa's letter I'd somehow missed noticing the hysterical screaming behind me.

"Mom, would you mind keeping an eye on Pal?" there was no way in hell I was going to leave him alone with Eric right now.

"Sure honey" he didn't even twitch as I disentangled myself and Mom took my place "That's my brave boy" she said sinking her fingers into his still river water 'scented' coat. I gave Eric one more hard glance of warning before walking through the trauma room door.

**Julie**

"I need to talk to Mr. Jake" why was Mom being this way? It was really, _**really**_ important, the Captain said so. I wasn't quite sure what had happened except that I'd fallen in the river and died and Jake's wolf that really wasn't a wolf 'cause he was the cutest boy I'd ever met had saved me and I'd seen things I really shouldn't have that Mr. Jake had to know about before the funny river where dead people go made me forget. I didn't want to shout at Mom and throw a temper tantrum but she just wouldn't listen. And I couldn't really explain 'cause the Captain said to tell no one but Mr. Jake and that bad things might happen if I forgot before I could tell him which meant I had to do it as soon as I woke up.

I sighed with relief when Mr. Jake came in. Dr. Greene whispered something to him and led my Mom out. I didn't really what her to go but I didn't want the bad man to hurt Mr. Jake's wolf-boy either.

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

I shook my head "It's not important. The Captain says I have to tell you what I saw before the river makes me forget."

"OK" Mr. Jake looked very sad and serious and maybe a little afraid. Maybe he'd been there before too. Except he wouldn't have remembered because of the river.

"Lean down so I can whisper."

_I blinked up at the big cruise ship. Maybe I was dreaming, except if I was dreaming I shouldn't know I was dreaming should I? And the last thing I remembered was the ice breaking and falling in the water. Was I dead? If I was dead shouldn't I be in Heaven? Maybe you got to Heaven in a cruise ship? Mom and Dad had gone on a cruise ship last year while I stayed with Gramma and had really liked it. The ship looked much too big for the river. I hugged myself even more scared than when we hit the deer. I wished Mr. Jake was here and then I felt mean because that would mean that Mr. Jake was dead too. I liked Mr. Jake and I didn't want him to get hurt anymore. It seemed like Mr. Jake was always getting hurt. I looked around. Nobody else seemed to be doing that they were all just getting onto the boat. Except the blond boy over there. I tried to go towards him but I couldn't walk away from the river. I could walk along it but I couldn't take a single step away. _

"_Hey" I waved at him. _

"_There you are" he sounded out of breath and his eyes were just dreamy "come on." He took my hand._

"_But I can't" I started to protest when my feet suddenly moved where I wanted them to._

"_You can with me" he said "I'm not bound to the river."_

"_Are you an angel?"_

_A quick shake of the head._

"_Who are you?"_

"_Do you want to die today?"_

"_No."_

"_Then you need to come with me, quickly." He was soooo cute. Cuter than anyone in school. Cuter even than any movie star._

"_You can bring people back to life?"_

"_Sometimes. Only if you haven't crossed the Lethe yet. Watch your step ground's rough here" how could he tell since he was walking backwards with his pretty blue eyes fixed on me? I'd seen those eyes before._

"_How did you know?"_

"_I've spent a lot of time here."_

"_Where's here?"_

"_Between tick and tock, between life and death."_

_I dug in my heels "Will it hurt?"_

"_A little" he admitted "you're going to have hypothermia the water and I'm going to have to do CPR to get you breathing again. Your ribs, hands, feet, and face are going to be sore for a few days but you'll get better. You'll be fine but we have to hurry."_

_I looked back at the cruise ship._

"_Your mom will cry" he said. "And I won't get to meet you properly." He smiled at me and something inside went all fluttery. _

"_What's it like?"_

"_I don't know. I only go to the river bank" he let go of my hand I could feel the river tugging on me. He held it out "Your choice. Please come."_

_I grabbed it and he jogged backwards so fast I nearly stumbled trying to keep up. I gasped as a mean looking bad man stepped out of the mist along the trail. The boy didn't see him and backed right into the circle of his arms before I could yell a warning. _

_He looked up in shock as the man grabbed him and then he went very, very pale. I thought he was going to faint but he whined like a dog. Like a dog, that's where I'd seen his eyes. Mr. Jake's wolf when he followed me into the river._

_He swallowed hard and whispered "Unterstumfuhrer Rindfleisch."_

_The bad man said something in a foreign language._

"What did he look like?" Mr. Jake interrupted.

"He was wearing a uniform like the bad men in the movies Daddy likes."

"Does your Daddy still really like WWII movies? The ones with Japs and Germans?"

I nodded but that wasn't important and I went back to telling Mr. Jake what happened.

_The boy shook him off, straightened up and said something that I could tell was 'sassing' just from the tone. Mom would send me to my room if I talked like that. The bad man hit him so hard that I ended up on the ground beside him. His eyes were out of focus and his lip and nose were bleeding. He blinked at me as I wiped it off with a tissue. _

"_Is that supposed to happen?"_

_He shook his head and winced. "What are you? You aren't the real Unterstumfuhrer Rindfleisch."_

"_I believe you know me as Ahriman."_

_The boy made a little whimpering sound and let go of my hand "I want you to run for the ship."_

"_But" I started to protest._

"_Don't look back just go and find the Captain and claim his protection. GO! RUN!"_

_He scrambled to his feet too but he ran in a different direction. The bad man chuckled and started after him at a walk. It reminded me of a Peppy LePue cartoon except it wasn't funny. Maybe the Captain could help the boy._

_Just as I was about to run up the gang plank an old, old, OLD man stopped me. "If you set foot on the ship you can't leave."_

"_I need to speak to the Captain" I said in a rush._

"_I am the Captain."_

"_Will you help him?" I pointed to where the bad man was still following the boy well actually the wolf but like one of the scary movies we'd snuck and watched at Stacy's sleepover no matter where he went the bad man was there. _

"_I can't" he sounded really sorry about that "but I can protect you from him if you ask."_

"_Please, and __**please**__ help him."_

"_Neither of them is under my authority so I have no power over them. I would if I could. He's always been a very good boy but your friend can not come aboard and I can not leave. This is for you" he picked up a handful of sand from the river bank "it will keep the Lethe from affecting you for a little while. Long enough for you to tell Jake Greene and no one else what you have seen." His brown eyes were very sad and very serious "It's important. Only Jake and as soon as you can." _

_The bad man had chased him all the way to the river bank where he knelt trembling with nowhere left to run. _

"_Can he hurt me?"_

"_Not any more."_

_I ran and jumped at the bad man's knees. He made a very satisfying thump. The boy was still cute even with his mouth wide open in shock._

"_I told you to go to the ship."_

"_I did. The Captain gave me his protection."_

"_You should take the ship" he said softly "get out while you can."_

"_I thought you wanted me to go back."_

"_I did but" he bit his lip "you go to Sunday school right?"_

_I nodded. _

"_So you've heard of the Devil?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Now you've met him. Every thousand years or so he gets to test seven souls. One of them is the Champion. That's the only one that can banish him again. That's the one that's most important even if all the other six stand firm then world will still be a darker place if the Champion falls." He paused, "The Champion has fallen."_

"_But what does he want with you?"_

_He looked SO scared "I'm one of the other six. As long one stands there will always be some good in the world."_

"_Then let's go home." I said tugging on his arm._

"_You don't understand. Things are going to get a lot worse for a very long time."_

_I gave him a hug because he looked like he really needed one "But it will be ok. You'll make certain there's always some good in the world."_

_He blinked at me like I'd sprouted wings or something and stammered "I'm not a hero."_

"_You're my hero" _

_He flushed beet red, ducked his head, shuffled his feet a little "You would still be safer on the ship."_

"_I want to go home."_

_He raised his head "Ok, let's go" he said taking my hand and slipping past the Devil who leaned down and whispered "You know this isn't over."_

_His hand shook in mine but his voice was steady "I know."_

_I'd never held hands with a boy before and the whole turning into a wolf thing was way cool. He was like a real live animangus. It was like something out of Harry Potter (not that I was allowed to read the books but I'd snuck a little at Stacy's). We were nearly even with the ship when a different voice speaking another strange language called to him. The words were funny. They were stern like when Mommy very disappointed in me but there was something else too. The boy gave a strangled little gasp and staggered like he'd been shot or something._

"_You aren't real" he was crying._

"_But it could be" the bad man whispered._

"_Who is he?"_

"_Someone who has been dead far too long to return" he said around a sniffle. I passed him my last tissue._

"_Thanks" he gave me a weak, watery smile. Knight in shining armor material he wasn't, except he'd gone into the river after me._

_The Devil slid in close wrapping an arm around him, whispering into his ear. He tried to step away but the Devil followed him._

"_You leave him alone" I yelled._

"_You get on the damn boat because you __**aren't**__ going to make it home, little girl."_

"_Yes, she is" he countered tossing his head, grabbing my hand, and turning away from the guy in the bed sheet. We started running away from the river. But it was really far and I ran out of breath. I stopped holding my side._

"_Is…it…always…this…far?"_

_He shook his head, not even breathing hard, not even breathing at all, spooky. "No Ahriman is still toying with us."_

_I swallowed "How long can I be dead?"_

"_There's no time here, we're between. He could keep us here for a century and not a moment would pass."_

"_But I wanna go home" this time I started to cry._

"_You'll get there."_

"_He said I wouldn't" this time he gave me a hug, rocking us both a little and singing something I didn't know. His voice was as pretty as he was. _

"_What a lovely picture" the Devil said softly "you would make a beautiful couple. Pity neither of you is ever going to be old enough."_

"_What do you want?"_

"_You know exactly what I want. You know you may be the best informed of all of the chosen down through the millennia. The question is what do you want?"_

"_There is nothing I want enough to give you what you want."_

_The Devil just smiled and vanished._

_We walked and walked and walked and all there was was the same swirling mist. I finally dropped onto my knees._

"_Please get back up."_

"_I just wanna rest a minute."_

"_You mustn't sleep here. If you don't keep moving you will."_

"_Are we just supposed to keep walking for a hundred years?!" I yelled at him._

"_He won't wait that long, just until I'll tired, until my guard is down. And __**you**__ can't sleep here."_

"_I can't but you could couldn't you?"_

"_We need to keep moving" he canted his head "do you know how to dance?"_

_I looked down at my feet and shook my head. Mom and Dad hadn't had the money for lessons. Stacy and Brittany's parents had more money. THEY knew how._

"_Then milady" he gave me a deep bow, took my hand and gently brushed my knuckles with his lips "would you be so kind as to permit me to instruct you?"_

"_Do you know ballet?"_

"_But of course ma cherie." _

_We danced and danced. He would show me the steps and then we would do them while he whistled the tune. I think if I had been allowed to sleep I could have done it for a hundred years but I was so tired. _

_I blinked at him as suddenly swung me around "No sleeping milady" but his own eyes were sagging too._

"_What's your name?" I asked since I was getting a little sick of thinking of him as 'boy'_

"_Not here, cherie."_

"_Does it hurt?"_

"_Does what hurt?"_

"_Turning into a wolf, silly."_

"_No, it's kind of…tingly."_

"_I wanna see."_

_He looked a little embarrassed. _

_I looked down "You don't have to you know" I swallowed and whispered "get naked do you?"_

"_No" he shot me a smile that left __**me**__ all tingly and more awake than I'd been in a while. He took a couple of steps back and in a swirl of blue white that reminded me of heat lightening he was just there wagging his tail. He hunkered down forelegs straight out rear in the air and chuffed at me. I wished I had a ball or a stick or something cause I bet he was really good at fetch._

_When I looked up the man in the bed sheet was back. He needed to get some real clothes. Didn't his mommy ever yell at him about going outside like that?_

_He called and the wolf went tail wagging so hard he shimmied as he reared up on his hind legs to lick bed sheet man under the chin. Maybe he was his daddy. If my daddy was dead and came back I'd be happy too. If that was the case then the Devil was even meaner than Mrs. Dawson said he was. _

"_Boy" I called but he was too busy trying to lick bed sheet man's whole face to pay any attention. I think I might have just messed up. Did he think like a person when he was a wolf? If he didn't he might not realize that it was a trap._

"_Wolf" I snapped before starting to go over but the Devil blocked my path. _

"_You can't hurt me" I said chin up hands on my hips._

"_No, but you might as well go back to the boat since you can't walk away from the river without his help. Besides, he's happy. You want him to be happy don't you?"_

_Mrs. Dawson said the Devil lied. That he offered you what you wanted but when you got it it wasn't what it seemed. I was trying to remember all the things that Mrs. Dawson had said about fighting the Devil but I was so tired._

"_Yes, a nap would be so nice wouldn't it?"_

_I glared at him. Big bully but I didn't know what to do. The boy had gone away from the river to bed sheet man and I couldn't take a step toward them even if the Devil left. Then I heard Mr. Jake's voice._

"_Pal, here boy. Where are you at boy? Come on Pal answer me."_

"_Mr. Jake?"_

_In a sweep of light the boy was back. Eyes blinking too fast and a little squinty. He started toward me and bed sheet man snapped an angry command. The boy winced but didn't stop and then bed sheet man turned into a big black __**scary**__ wolf. I guess he was his daddy. Mr. Jake was still calling for Pal, over and over. The Devil had disappeared but the big bad wolf was between us. The boy licked his lips, eyes flicking from me to the wolf._

"_I'm sorry" he said. _

"_No" I shook my head, he couldn't leave me here, he just __**couldn't**__. The little golden wolf offered his throat to the black one who nodded before looking over towards where the Devil had been. As soon as his gaze shifted the little wolf dashed under his belly and before I even realized it he had tackled me and we were rolling under real sky. I could see the river. I could see my, my body still under water caught in the roots of a fallen tree with the little golden wolf at the waterline jaws clenched around my sleeve. I clung to the boy._

"_If you really want to go home you have to go back."_

"_But I drowned."_

_A little shrug and a cocky grin, "__**THAT**__ I can handle. Come on, almost there."_

"_I won't tell."_

_He brushed my hair back off my face "Thank you, that is extremely kind of you."_

_I caught his hand "What aren't you telling me?"  
_

**Jake**

Julie blinked at me rising fear and confusion on her face "Mr. Jake why am I in the clinic? Where's my Mommy?" that last was half wailed.

"It's ok, you're ok. I'll get your Mom."

"OK" she snuffled.

I retreated leaving her crying and confused feeling like a heel as her mom pushed past me. She probably hadn't had much more to say but I would never know because the Lethe had finally washed it away. Charon had clearly meant for me to pick up on something in all that but I wasn't sure what. Eric was no where to be found. Chicken. Mom looked up from where she had Pal's head pillowed in her lap.

"Do you know if he's been eating?"

I shrugged, it had never crossed my mind "Why wouldn't he be? He's certainly capable of bringing down prey."

"I don't know" Mom said as she ran her fingers across ribs that I knew had been shattered only a few hours ago "but he seems awfully thin."

"It might just be the hypothermia but his gums seem very pale" April said as she moved to check on Julie "remind me to double check them later."

Old Doc Thompson had been out of town on The Day so we'd lost our vet but I took a peak myself and he stirred, blue eyes peeking through slits, the slightest hint of tension, a touch of fear even though he wasn't anywhere near truly awake.

"It's ok, go back to sleep" he sighed sinking back into a dark sleep beyond the threshold of dreams. April was more than right. His temperature was nearly back to normal but his gums were very pale. I pressed against the flesh over his molars, watching it go completely white then releasing to see how long it took to regain what little color it had. Too long if he was a regular dog but what was normal for him?

"You should have been a vet" Mom commented for perhaps the six thousandth time.

"I loved flying too much."

"I know."

I didn't have a clue what to do about any of what I'd learned today. What I really wanted to do was pull up a barstool next to Kenchy and get drunk for week but that wasn't going to solve anything. Short of that….short of that I really needed to let it all sink in before I could even begin to sort it out. Pal was right the whole bloody world had changed or was simply different than I had ever thought it was. Either way I felt adrift. I looked down at the tubing Bruce had left. Pal was too thin, his capillary refill was poor, and I was willing to bet if I drew blood and ran tests he would show as more than a little anemic. Odds were good he couldn't die of it but he was bringing in more food than the rest of the town combined, we could spare him so more broth and what I'd poured down him earlier should be out of his stomach by now.

He didn't even stir through the entire process and I had to wonder just how much today had taken out of him.

"I'd rather let him sleep it off here. Is there anything you need help with for a few hours?"

"I think I can find something" I wasn't certain I liked that little smile of Mom's at all.

I'd never been a huge fan of doing laundry back when it had involved pouring some soap into a machine this absolutely SUCKED. I was ready to consider doing handsprings when I felt Pal finally start to stir. Apparently all that broth I'd dumped into him was having an effect and then he abruptly vanished. Damn it was going to be a lot harder to find him as Paullus. I wrapped one hand around the talisman in my pocket and went hunting.

He turned out to be surprisingly easy to find. Given how easily he'd given Dad the slip I'd expected it to be a lot harder but all I had to do was check on his stuff. He looked kind of cute with just his blond curls sticking out of the top of his sweater. He froze for an instant then finished pulling the sweater on fixing the cowl before turning to face me.

"Paullus, I presume?"

A slightly wary inclination of the head. He looked like hell. Too pale, too thin, and down right haggard with great dark circles under his eyes. He'd looked fine in April's pictures so either the months between now and the bombs had been even rougher than they'd been here or today had take a good bit more than a single pound of flesh. I'd have to ask Dad if he'd looked like this.

"Mr. Green"

"Jake, Mr. Green is my dad. You did good work getting Julie breathing again. Must have been cold out there without your sweater. I sent the guys looking for you but" I shrugged. I didn't know if I was making a mistake or not but I didn't want to tip my hand either.

"I didn't see them" a mix of confusion and relief in his eyes. He knew that I heard but he didn't know how much I heard "I'm just glad you found her in time" a nervous lick of the lips "What sent you down that way?"

"Gut feeling that the wolf pup was in trouble down by the river. My Grandpa's grandmother was some sort of Indian medicine woman sometimes I get….little flashes."

Tangible relief.

"Speaking of the pup. Is he yours?"

"Don't you know that wolves are wild? They belong to themselves." Hard glint in those eyes on that one. That was a warning pure and simple. Interesting change from the slave boy in his memories. I wondered how many centuries he'd been a slave and what finally broke the chains.

"My Mom's been really worried about you ever since Dad mentioned you. She'd love to have you over for dinner and we have a very comfortable couch."

Odd that his eyes looked more feral and wolf-like right now than they had earlier in wolf form. "Maybe later." Those eyes had checked the entire area and I knew as he shouldered his backpack that he was planning to make a break for it. I couldn't quite figure how but I wanted him to come home but I didn't want to spook him any more than I already had.

"Please. Mom isn't the only one that would feel better if you weren't out there somewhere in the cold and you look like you could use the rest."

"With only 48 shopping hours 'til Christmas Eve?" a touch of a grin graced his lips and his cheeks regained some color. "Santa's helpers are far to busy for that."

"Busy with what?" I asked more as a delaying tactic than because I expected a response.

"There's shopping to do, smuggling to arrange, bribes to be placed, blockades to be breached" given the way he was moving his hands they'd completely recovered. I hadn't been nearly as frozen and had had days of recovery and mine still throbbed. A guy could get very, very jealous of that. "Busy, busy, busy" by the end his eyes were positively sparkling despite still looking like death warmed over.

"Blockades?"

"Do you really think the rest of the world CHOSE to abandon you? President Tomarchio" despite the fact he was in human form I could feel the pain. Pal had genuinely liked the guy and I felt like an ass for bringing it up. He'd had a rough day and had actually been finding the bright side of life despite it. "closed the boarders. The excuse was for reasons of national security."

"Need any help?"

A cant of the head "Not that I'm aware of at the moment but I'll keep the offer in mind. With your pardon I really must go or I'll be late for my appointment on the island of misfit toys."

I was tempted to try and stop him but my gut told me it would be the wrong move "Be safe and you're welcome at the house any time."

He paused and turned back "Thank you" and as he disappeared into the dark of a December evening his voice floated back on the wind

We're a couple of misfits  
We're a couple of misfits  
What's the matter with misfits?  
That's where we fit in!

We're not daffy and dilly  
Don't go 'round willy nilly  
Seems to us kinda silly  
That we don't fit in.

We may be different from the rest  
Who decides the test  
Of what is really best?

We're a couple of misfits  
We're a couple of misfits  
What's the matter with misfits  
That's where we fit in!

And despite everything I had to laugh. At least two thousand years old and he was singing songs from Rudolph the Red Nosed reindeer….

**Author's note continued: ** For any Highlander fans reading this it is an AU for that universe as well. I am writing this generally under Highlander rules but without Duncan MacLeod and so some things are just the same and some things are very, very different without Dunkie around…..

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